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The Last Word: R. Kelly Gets Trapped, Mr. Biggs Begs Your Pardon, and Timberlake’s Member Gets Emmy nod!

justin-timberlake-dick-in-a-box-2-8-07

What’s up? The summer just keeps flying by as July is close to becoming

August. Another crazy week gone by. From corrupt NBA refs to

presidential candidates taking questions from YouTube users, to the

Simpsons finally hitting the big screen, it’s been an interesting one…to say the least.

 

R.I.P. to Tammy Faye Messner, and get well wishes to Blues singer Etta

James. Congratulations go out to the just married Laila Ali and Drew

Carey, the new host of the Price is Right. And as always, I gotta give

it up to my sounding boards for always providing things (and pics) to

talk about.  

And now…the Last Word for the week ending July 27, 2007.1. Ike Turner Day a No Go in St. LouisMention Ike Turner and two things come to mind: his status as an

R&B pioneer, and the repeated smackdowns he laid on his ex-wife Tina

Turner. So with that in mind, is the public ready for a whole 24

devoted to the singer?Apparently not, according to the mayor of St. Louis, Francis Slay,

who turned down a request to make Sept. 2 Ike Turner Day. Slay’s aide

Cathy Smentkowski, told the Associated Press that although the request

“was brought to the mayor’s attention, he did not feel comfortable

issuing it.” As for the specifics behind the rejection, Smentkowski did not

elaborate. But don’t worry. Turner will still be on hand to perform

that day at the Big Muddy Blues Festival. Still, the denying of a day

devoted to the 75-year-old Grammy winner did not sit well with Scott M.

Hanover, a manager at Thrill Entertainment Group, the company that

represents Turner. “People are living in the past,” he told the AP, adding that it was

a “shame” that Turner’s past continues to dog him. “They don’t know the

man I know. This ain’t 1962.”You’re right. It’s not 1962. It’s 2007. But hey, let’s imagine what

it would be like to have an Ike Turner Day. Picture a day where the

Blues and Turner’s greatest “hits” are played all day, providing the

soundtrack to pimp slaps heard everywhere from frustrated people who’s

significant contributions were overshadowed by their talks of being “in

here” to the apple of their respective eyes (boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, take your pick).2. The IFC Gets “Trapped” With R.Kelly Despite a pending child pornography trial coming sometime this

century, R. Kelly is biding his time well with a new deal with the

Independent Film Channel. Daily VarietyThe deal falls in line with Kelly’s original intent for the

“Trapped” saga, as he told Variety

The singer will play an old man named Randolph, complete with a pot

belly and a fake white beard that nearly falls off mid-scene, according

to Billboard. com, which also revealed that Kelly will also portray a

preacher in a gray Jheri-curl wig and garish orange suit. In one of the

final chapters of the saga, Kelly’s Sylvester character talks business

with a Sopranos-esque mobster who is eating a giant plate of

spaghetti.While

I applaud Kelly for signing the deal, I have to ask, how many more

chapters does he have in him? “Trapped in the Closest” is entertaining,

but is Kelly trying to run the saga into the ground? I could be wrong,

but I’d hate to see it messed up. Nevertheless, if you can’t catch it on the small screen, you can see all 22 “Trapped” episodes on IFC’s website, IFC.com. 3. J-Lo Embarks On First Tour With Marc Anthony

 

Jennifer Lopez fans will finally get a chance to see and hear the

singer/actress live and in person when she hits the road this fall with

husband Marc Anthony. Billboard.com reports that the pair will kick off

their first tour together on Sept. 29 in Atlantic City, N.J. Tickets go on sale Aug. 10, and a full itinerary will be announced next week.

 

Although Lopez and Anthony will play their own sets, the couple will

perform together in English and Spanish. A dollar from every ticket

sold will be donated to ING Run for Something Better, a children’s

fitness and healthy lifestyle program. For Anthony, the tour offers a new experience for Lopez.”Jennifer has never toured,” he told Billboard. “I’ve toured all my

life. This is where I can step in and say, ‘Oh, my God, this could be

fun,’ and introduce her to that world. It is something she’s always

wanted to do, but she’s never had the time. And I was offered many more

films I never took advantage of because I was always on tour.”

 

Those of you who can’t wait for the tour can catch Lopez and Anthony on

the big screen in their new film El Cantante. The film, a biopic about

salsa legend Hector Lavoe, is in theaters now. 4. Def Jam Mobilizes Presidential Pardon for Mr. Biggs; Justin’s “D**k in a Box” Gets Nominated

 

Legendary record label Def Jam is coming to the aid of R&B icon

Ronald “Mr. Biggs” Isley by asking fans to “call, fax, or e-mail” the

White House to keep the singer from serving a three-year sentence for

tax evasion.

 

Isley was convicted last year for nonpayment of taxes. He is scheduled to begin his sentence on Aug. 7. On its official website, Def Jam expresses concern about the crooner’s

health as various health issues – including a kidney cancer diagnosis

in 2006 – may prevent Isley from fully carrying out his stint behind

bars. To further his case for the pardon, the label also mentioned that

the crooner has offered to perform for U.S. troops and is in the

process of decreasing his IRS debt in effort.

 

Whether Bush does the deed remains to be seen. If he can commute

Scooter Libby’s sentence, then Mr. Biggs should be a pretty simple task

to handle, right? If not, then I suggest we take up the fight and have

some sit-ins and a couple of marches. We already have a soundtrack with

music from the Isley’s. We just need anybody who’s sampled an Isley

Brothers track to be the keynote speaker for the Million Isley March on

the Lincoln Memorial. Any suggestions?

 

While he’s not catching cases like Isley, Justin Timberlake may catch

something different for his “d**k in a box.” The former NSYNC member,

his co-star Andy Samberg, and several SNL staff writers were recently

nominated for an Emmy award for Outstanding

Original Music and Lyrics for the popular Saturday Night Live viral video,

which talks about surprise packages. They go head to head against “My

Drunken Irish Dad” from Family Guy,“”Merry Ex-Mas” from Mad TV, and

two songs from a musical episode of Scrubs: “Guy Love” and

“Everything Comes Down to Poo.”

 

Timberlake is credited for music and lyrics on the nomination. So

whether you’re rooting for Justin or joining the “I Helped to Pardon Mr.

Biggs” movement by contacting the President, Congressional Black Caucus,

or your local congressperson and senator, the thing is to stand up for

what you believe in. Fight the power. For the love of Mr. Biggs, we got

the powers that be!

 

5. Prince to Michael: Go Unplugged

 

It worked for Mariah Carey, Alicia Keys, and Nirvana. Why not Michael

Jackson? In what could be the oddest item for this week, Michael

Jackson is reportedly getting advice on his musical comeback from his

chief ‘80s rival, Prince.

 

“Prince has been suggesting that Michael play a sequence of unplugged

concerts in Las Vegas – just Michael and the microphone. No gimmicks,

no costume changes, no smoke or mirrors, just his voice,” a source told

the New York Post. News of this seems ironic since the Post alleges that several months

ago, Prince reportedly turned down an offer from Jackson to go on a

joint tour. Jackson’s rep, Raymone K. Bain, has since denied the story.

 

While it’s up in the air on whether there was any talk between the two,

it would make sense for Prince and Jackson to put aside any differences

they had and get this money. This could be bigger than Jay-Z and Nas

coming together in the name of Hip-Hop. A joint tour would be off the

chain with these two. I can see the promoters now billing it as either

the Jheri Curl and Lace Tour, the Thrilla Under the Cherry Moon tour,

or my personal favorite, the I’mma Stay Outta the Courthouse When Doves

Cry Vindication Tour.

 

Maybe Michael will do the unplugged gigs. He needs something to

generate a buzz. I’m pulling for him to get back into the game. All the

legal trouble needs to cease. Let’s get a hot song or at least a

Michael/Prince collabo in the studio. Let’s keep hope alive for the gloved one.

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