Ladies, as much as I cant stand a desperate woman, Im
going to help you out. Now, some of you may know this already, but for those
who dont – listen up. If rappers can rap about it, and damn near every R&B, pop and country
singer can sing about it, we can talk about it.
Men cheat for different – not necessarily better. So that
means you, as the other woman, need to fulfill those voids that qualify you
as being different from the main squeeze.
How do you attain these differences? Its simple. Evaluate
the main squeeze. Write down her traits. What is consistent about her? Does she
wear her hair the same way year after year? Is her wardrobe redundant? Is she
loud or quiet? Is she demanding or passive? Happy-go-lucky or moody?
Jot all these findings down and then create a list of
For example, if the word demanding is on your list, write
passive beside it. After youve compiled your list of opposites, check off
the characteristics that you already possess – and those that you do not check,
then you know what to do. Handle that.
Start working on possessing those characteristics – and
dont go crazy trying to change who you are, because these characteristics will
only be used temporarily, on an as-needed basis. Remember, you are the other woman, which means you wont be
around him as often as his main squeeze, thus, you wont have to keep these characteristics
turned on all the time.
Now for all you married women or women in relationships who
wish you could jump through the computer screen and choke the hell out of me,
dont get mad get smart! You can be that other woman! Write the list about
yourself (and be as objective as possible, even try using descriptions that
your man would use if he were creating the list). Then write you a list of
opposites that you need to add to your personality traits and/or habits.
Work on these opposites and turn them on ever so often,
giving your man a taste of being with another woman while still being with you!
Get where I am going? Of course you do.
I sure hope you didnt think I was condoning mistress
behaviorhell no! Im a married woman myself! What I am doing, though, is
trying to save your relationship. Im trying to show you how to keep your man
satisfied with you, and you alone!
Get on your job, and yes, I am calling having a man a job.
But if its fun, pays well, and gives you something to do every day, then why
the hell are you complaining? So like I said, get on your job and be your mans
Okay, with all that said, I know that half of you are
twisting your lips up saying, Im not doing all that. I got one phrase for you – and Im sure you heard it before – but
here it goes again: If you dont do it,
then somebody else will.
But for the other half of you who are like, All right, Im
with you. Now tell me some tips lets get down to the nitty-gritty.
Keeping your relationship happy and healthy can be simple.
Just try to be as considerate of him as you beg and plead for him to be of you.
It cant be that hard. After all its what you ask of him isnt it? So for
those of you who twisted your lips initially, I hope you read on, because I
would hate for you to let a potentially great union fall by the wayside over
Think about it. All Im suggesting is you break away from
being wife for a day or two out the week and become mistress. This simple
routine can add years to your relationshiphappy years, that is.
Now, turning into the other woman doesnt mean transforming
yourself. It just means transforming the things that you do, and this can
entail everything from spicing things up in your bedroom to simply cooking
dinner in something sexier than the sweats you usually cook in. You see, it
doesnt always boil down to sex. Sometimes men just want different.
Instead, of going to bed with your scarf on, try sleeping
without it one night – just make sure its the night before your hair
appointment. Take it to the ultimate level of satisfaction, wake your man up
with a rare treat (and you married women living in a routine should know what I
mean!) one morning before you get up to go to
work. I know, disgusting right? You would never do that. Well that is exactly
why that would be one of your opposites that you turn on every now and then,
remember? Stay with me now.
Plan dates with your man. You know, where you get dressed
up and meet him somewhere, or have him come pick you up as if you two are going
on a first date – or even make it feel like you two are sneaking off without
wifey knowing. In addition, sex in strange places gives your man the
excitement and the bragging rights that, sorry to say, comes with cheating. So
try it in a dressing room or a nightclub bathroomwhats the worst that can
happen? You get kicked out? Its not so bad, trust me, I know.
Oh, and times where you would normally criticize your man or
add to his frustrations after hes made a mistake or done something he feels
bad about, try pampering him instead.
The bottom line is ladies, try to laugh more, play more, be
creative and spontaneous, and dont use the kids or work as an excuse to spend
less time with your man. If hes worth it you should want to spend lots of time
with him, and he needs to know and feel that! Of course thats if hes worth
it, though, ladies.
Dont take this advice if your man doesnt deserve it.
Youll burn yourself out and become discouraged, neglecting to use these
tactics again, even if the man who does deserve it enters your life. If youre
wondering whether or not your man falls into the worth it category, thats a
whole other topic. Ill discuss that one in the next article.
But I will say this, if you were one of the lip twisters,
your man probably isnt worth all this. However, you still may need to find out
for sure, so stay tuned because I can see now that we have a lot to talk about!
Miasha is the author
of Dont Make Me Dinner, Make Me Rich! How to Be the Superwoman of Today,
coming soon. She is also author of fiction bestsellers Diary of a Mistress,
Mommys Angel, and Sistah for Sale,
all available in bookstores and online nationwide. For more information, go to
her website at www.miasha.com