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Sound-Off: Really Usher?

The views expressed in this Sound-Off are not the views expressed by AllHipHop.com. I’m bizack with more of my insightful comments because like a video vixen trying to get attention at a video shoot, I just can’t keep my mouth closed!So after free-basing in my apartment for a couple hours and almost setting it on fire, I decided to listen to some tunes. The first thing I had to listen to was Bobby Brown, because when you are doing drugs you just have to listen to him…it’s like a law or something. So after my play list ran out of Vanilla Ice and Ace of Base songs to play, it finally came to Usher’s new goodie “Love In This Club.” Let the truth be told, I really like this song, but as I listened to the words I could not help but think, Really Usher?Fellas, for those of you who don’t know, to the police and bouncers at whatever establishment you frequent “Love In the Club” has another name: Public lewdness and indecency! In the song Jeezy asks, “Have you ever made love to a thug in the club with his ice on?” Well, fellas, if you attempt “love in the club” you will be making “love to a thug in a cell with the lights off.” (But look on the bright side your cellmate just might be Akon if he has a record coming out that year). So my first thought after listening was, “Why is Usher urging us to commit crimes?” Is it not enough for you that we love your songs, Usher? Now we have to go to jail for you?! Damn Ursh, talk about crabs in a barrel! This song is nothing more than a ploy to get horny, innocent people locked up! And I take that very personal! Oh My God! Usher must be in cahoots with George Bush! I see what you are trying to do George Bush! Because the real weapon of mass destruction you are after is the Black penis!  I’m just saying…My second thought was why stop at making love in the club? After all, if we are just going to whip it out in a public place and start banging the closest slorostitute who gives us a woody, there can be a variety of scenarios. For example “I want to make love in this supermarket” or “I want to make love at this bar mitzvah” or  “I want to make love at this crack house” the latter could be a duet with Amy Winehouse. That would be so f**kin hot! They could shoot the video at a real crack house. And the “extras” in the video could sell you an iPod for ten dollars after the video shoot!Lastly, after hearing the initial song, I didn’t have to wait long to hear the remix. The remix has Beyonce sandwiched between Lil Wayne and Usher. But I’m still not clear on a couple of things. Are Usher and Bey making love in the club while Wayne watches? Or is it the other way around? No wait, I think they are tag teaming her! Does Hov know? I guess it doesn’t only have to be monogamous loving in the club? I think I have an idea for a remix to the remix! It could be “I Want To Have a Gangbang in this Club” (Ladies start drinking your Gatorade before you go to the club! It’s going to be a long night!) We would need someone on the song who has experience in the area…but who? Well, I can’t think of anyone, but in a completely unrelated topic does anyone know what Mya is doing these days?

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