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Sound-Off: Really Mariah?

The views expressed in this Sound-Off are not the views expressed by AllHipHop.com.I’m back with more of my crazy opinions, because I love you all like Catholic priests love attention from young altar boys!So I was at my local high school handing out my number to girls turning 18 (16 is the new 18 right Kells?), when I was escorted off the premises by security. I got into my car, and as I was speeding through the school zone, I heard the good news on the radio – It seems Nick Cannon and Mariah Carey really have gotten married! While it’s always great to see the resident nutcase find love with the resident man-whore, I still couldn’t help but wonder, really Mariah?My first thought after hearing about the nuptials of Ms. Carey and Mr. Cannon was “Oh my God, Nick Cannon just won’t go away, will he!” I can’t put my finger on why, but he just annoys the f**k out of me! First Nick was in that movie Drumline. After that, I thought I would never have to see him again. But nope! He returned to annoy the life out of me some more…this time as a rapper! I still have nightmares about that song “Gigolo” he had with R. Kelly. (Insert the obvious nighttime R. Kelly child molester joke here) After his rap career ultimately went nowhere, I stupidly thought I was done with him once again. But again I was wrong! He came back with that Wild N Out show on MTV.  Fortunately for me, this show was short lived. And wasn’t he just engaged a couple of months ago to Selita Banks? This herpes sore just had to get engaged to two women in less than one year! Who does he think he is, J.LO?  Nick is like roaches in the projects – immune to insults and poison. As much as we might want him to go, he continues to stick around!My next thought was “Mariah is off her meds again!” Then I thought to myself, why I am surprised? Isn’t this the same chick that was trying to be Eminem’s (the only person in the world who just might be crazier than her) bust it baby? Isn’t this the same chick who continues to tell us in magazines that she can count the guys she has slept with on one hand? I’m sure! This hand sure must have a lot of fingers… Ok Mariah, after the venereal disease that was Glitter, it would seem you got your music mojo back, but don’t think for a second that we ever thought you were sane! We’ve known that you are crazy for some time, but we were willing to overlook it on two conditions:1. If you keep giving us hit records, and2. As long as you did your best to keep your crazy from showing.It would seem that our second condition has been violated after Mariah decided to marry the entertainment industry’s equivalent of Steve Urkel/Stephan Urkell. Contact Dr. Phil immediately!Anyone who knows me knows that I always try to look at the bright side of things. And it was hard to find in this case…but I found one! Let’s say Nick decides to pull a Kevin Federline and emancipate himself from Mimi. Mariah really can’t go all “Britney Spears” on us, because to Mariah’s credit she is already as insane as the blowjobs a toothless hooker gives her clients. So for her it will be business as usual. As for Nick, he gets more of what he has been getting all along; more time in the spotlight for doing nothing at all.

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