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Sound-Off: Really Rihanna?

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The views expressed in this Sound-Off are not the views expressed by AllHipHop.com.It’s me again. I’ve got more stuff to scream about, ‘cause I’m angrier than Amy Winehouse is when she’s out of crack!So this past week I was hanging out with MC Hammer ,because I have dance lessons with him 3X a week. While I was all “You Can’t Touch This” from corner to corner of the cardboard box (I practice at Hammer’s house), my mind went to Rihanna. After reading some more reports where she denies dating Chris Brown…among other things, I couldn’t help but wonder, really Rihanna?Call it misguided anger, but I just really don’t understand why Rihanna is famous. First of all, you should not be allowed to deny dating someone or lie at all unless you have talent. People with no talent need to earn the right to be evasive! This means you Rihanna! You ain’t Beyonce! You should be forthcoming with all of your business damnit! Since you don’t have anything real to reel us in like a skill or a talent, we need all that superficial crap to keep us interested. So quit trying to deceive us about being Chris Brown’s bust it baby! Even KFC caught you two…you didn’t mind playing tonsil hockey once there was some free extra crispy wings involved. Great job!You have had some hit songs; I will give you that. However, you have not yet managed to convince me of several things. I’m not convinced you know how to sing. The-Dream has been known to possess people with his “ey ey ey” songwriting. I mean, J Holiday stand the f**k up! This still doesn’t give you a license to sing, Rihanna. I’m also not convinced you can dance. In the “Umbrella” video I was more interested in wondering if you were going to bust your ass in those ballet shoes than really admiring your skills. Sadly, you can’t even convince me you are from your place of birth, Barbados. I just don’t believe you. What’s up with the coming and going accent? Who are you, Madonna? I’m not saying it’s fake or anything, I’m just saying it could use some tweaking. Perhaps you could find an accent coach? Finally, I hear Kanye put a boatload of money towards revamping you and your show for his tour. After seeing the show, I must say that was money well spent. May I make some suggestions though? How about the next time you have a show or someone invites you on tour, you stay home? No? Ok, well I tried. Pass me the bucket of original recipe, will ya?

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