AllHipHop.com Editorial  

That Good O-Bama: The Latest Sensation

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[Editorial note: this story is a satire and a political parody.]

 

Streets across the United States have been hit with a new, infectious

substance that has swept the country from the streets of New York to the shores

of Miami to the coast of California.

 

The new substance is called That O-bama and it is a direct result of the highly

successful campaign of Senator Barack Obama.

 

In many urban settings, illicit drugs have been the commerce of choice for

those that choose to live outside of the mainstream. These drugs include

cocaine, meth, crack, marijuana and other substances like glue.

 

That O-bama has completely replaced them all in a swell of optimism.

 

“I got that O-Bama, I got that O-Bama,” a man says from the streets of

Denver, several weeks after the Democratic National Convention. “Whatever you need,

I got all that O-Bama. We still got it!”

 

The man refused to allow AllHipHop.com to identify him, but he agreed to

speak under the condition of anonymity.

 

He said, “that O-bama” is safer to sell than drugs, but twice as potent. Sadly,

drugs have been one of the chief forms of economic advancement by those that

have opted for risky illegal means to make money.

 

“That O-bama is selling like hot cakes after the club let out. That Obama is

that good good. I sell my Obama to all colors and creeds of people. I just can’t

believe I was selling crack just six months ago and catching all sorts of cases. Barack actually wants us to sell that good old O-bama to the

people. It’s actually good for the people!”

 

Obama, commonly called “that good old O-Bama” has known to give a person

insight, inspiration and insight to the political process.

 

One man says that he gives “that good old O-Bama” away free after buying

wholesale at discounted prices.

 

“I know it’s stupid, but I buy a crazy amount of that “good good O-Bama and

I give it away. I just give it away. People are out here and they are addicted

and they need a fix daily,” he says. “If I don’t, somebody else will give them

some bad stuff.”

 

That “good, old O-Bama” has spawned a number of copycats which have been

known to have adverse affects on the user.

 

“I got some of this stuff called “A New Change,” ‘War Hero” and “Tina Fey

Lookin’ Idiot.” They swore to me it was better than that good old O-Bama,” said

John Taylor, who ran out of his stash of Obama. “That other stuff broke me out

and I had bumps all over my neck. Nothing ruins the streets faster than bad ‘d.’”

 

To counter the plague of bad O-Bama, street level dealers have decided to

offer more forms and kinds of the product.

 

The names range from “DiscObama” to “BuffalObama” to “HydrObama” to

“Hama-ina-Hamina-Obama.”

 

Other forms of Obama come in clothing – flavors of African kinte cloth colors

or red, white and blue. All are considered good, even though they may lack a

nice artistic aesthetic.

 

One person created “That Good Old O-bama” cologne, another O-bama soap and

another still called “That Good Old O-bama Change Pills,” a generic prescription

for societal change.

 

Whether or not these remedies actually create true change remains to be seen,

but until then, it appears the masses will continue to consume “The Good Old

O-bama.”

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