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Hip-Hop Rumors: Tiger’s Texts; Baby By Bird?

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EPIC FAIL OF THE DAY

Tiger Woods is free falling faster than a bag if cement. Dude is going to crash hard. Now they have released the texts between him and Jaimee Grubbs! Man, he was trying to wife this other babe Rachel Uchitel. I couldn’t resist printing this. Yo! Does anybody else think maybe Tiger wanted this to happen? I can’t imagine anybody failing like this on accident.

Man, they are even saying dude may have a “love child” from  one of this girls. Amazing!

Tiger: Hey Sexy I can’t come out this week. Something came up family wise (July 20, 3:04 p.m.)Jaimee: That’s okay I hope everything is fine … would have liked to see youTiger: We will make it happenJaimee: I drove out for the night to surprise a friend with a present for there birthday (July 26, 11: 22 p.m.)Tiger: what kind of present your naked bodyJaimee: haha no a watch I slept aloneTiger: alone with him that isJaimee: haha I wishJaimee: miss u (Sept. 27, 6:38 p.m.)Tiger: now that’s hot so who is your new boy toyJaimee: no new boy toy … still running dry… been on 2 real dates in the pat 2 months :(

Tiger: I need youJaimee: then get your tight ass over here and visit me! I need uTiger: I will wear you out soonJaimee: how soon? I got a new piercingTiger: really. WhereJaimee: I just sent u a pic of it … is on my cheek below my eye … implanted a little diamondTiger: send it again. I didn’t pick up on thatTiger: you just need some attention from meTiger: do you have a boy friend (8:45 p.m.)Jaimee: I don’t even have someone I am dating … no … u can be my boyfriend ;)Tiger: then I amJaimee: I wishTiger: quiet and secretively we will always be togetherTiger: when was the last time you got laidJaimee: if we hang out on a Sundway we can watch desperate houswives again haha (Sept. 30, 3:38 p.m.)Tiger: oh godJaimee: take a break from watching boring old golfJaimee: I mean the amazing sport of golf ;)Jaimee: [more than an hour later] babe I was kiddingTiger: I know sexyJaimee: is it orange county time yet? (Oct. 1, 6:06 p.m.)Tiger: oh stop :)Jaimee: hahaha I know … but you canceled on me last time so the anticipation is killing me … im finding myself watching sports center … haha j/k it isn’t that badTiger: its never been that badJaimee: very true … I only watch footballTiger: Figured you would say that. Big black guys.Jaimee: u are my first, last and only black guy! U should feel specialTiger: why do I not believe that?Tiger: [later, in response to Jaimee's mention of a date who was "full of himself"] you kinda like that for some reason which is weird why you decided on me.Tiger: having an asian mother and a military father you cannot and will not ever be full of yourselfJaimee: I have fun with u, you always make me smile and I am not afraid to be myself or say anything to u … the day I met u I thought u were going to kick me out a few times but for someone reason you didn’t and u have told me numerous times I talk to much but slowly as I get to know u iI think your absolutely amazingTiger: you are wrong I’m bone thugs in harmonJaimee: Something wrong babe?I was excited to sepnd time with u this week (Oct. 15, 6:40 p.m.)Tiger: I will you Sunda night. Its the only night in which I am totally free but I have to leave at 530 Monday morning to drive up to the valley for an outing for one of my sponsors. See you at 8 pm on Sunday in newportTiger: don’t text me back till tomorrow morning. I have to many people around me right nowTiger: send me something very naughty (Oct. 18, 3:40 p.m.)Jaimee: some things are worth waiting for lol … besides im at workTiger: go to the bathroom and take it Jaimee: haha ur too muchJaimee: are u leaving me cause your wife is still in newport :( I am lonely now … i like falling asleep in your arms (Oct. 18, 11:38 p.m.)Tiger: sorry baby I just can’t sleep. Its just a problem I have.Tiger: she is not here. They left this morningJaimee: well I appreciate you not wanting to wake me up but if y couldn’t sleep I would have rather sat up and talked to u more … find out why I keep falling more and more for u ;)Tiger: Because I’m blasian :)Tiger: I’m sorry babe. Im already home. Jaimee: I’m putting my underwear back on … thats a no no … come take them offTiger: :) you are too funnyTiger: happy thanksgiving to you (Nov. 26, 11:16 a.m.)Jaimee: u too loveTIGER….WHEW!

They keep us talking, but if we stop talking about them then they should worry!

-illseed

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