This month I am going to write about a topic that I had no
plans on writing about – at least not yet anyway. But something came up in my
personal life that prompted me to bring it up.
I am not just writing about this to vent, but to educate
some people out there as well, because apparently what I am going through right
now is something that men and women go through quite often. And in many cases,
it destroys lives.
What is happening in my life right now reminds me of a
situation that occurred in my second novel, Diary
of a Mistress. I guess it’s a case of life imitating art.
Last week my husband was arrested. Being as though I had to
wait until after my husband saw a judge to find out what he had done, I spent
every bit of 15 hours wracking my brain, trying to guess what he could have
possibly been arrested for. My husband isn’t involved in criminal activity at
all, so I ruled out drugs, robbery, theft and the like. Everything about him is
legit, so why he was in jail was mind boggling to me.
I got up early the day after my husband’s arrest and went to
the courthouse where my husband was scheduled to see the judge. I waited with
anticipation for them to arraign him. After some time, they brought my husband
from a cell into the courtroom. We made eye contact, and I was relieved to see
that he was all right—physically at least.
The judge began to run down his charges, and I was straining
my ear drums to hear them. Not knowing what he had been arrested for was
killing me. I heard “simple assault” and “harassment” and instantly thought he
had fought someone. I immediately posted his bail, and was able to get the full
story as we were leaving the courtroom. And let me say, my husband was just as
shocked and disgusted to find out what the police report said he had done as I
was.
My husband was painted as a monstrous pervert in the police
report. It stated that he tried several times to force his way down a female’s
pants and up her shirt. It further stated that after my husband repeatedly
tried to touch her against her will, that she asked him to let her out of his
car. He then supposedly blocked her way with his car and proceeded to expose
his private part to her. She notified a police officer, who then pulled my
husband over and arrested him.
Now without even hearing my husband’s side of the story, I
knew that what was written in the police report was not what happened. I’ve
been with my husband for 12 years, and married to him for almost five. I know
him like I know myself. There is no way he would do any of what the woman
accused him of doing. I know this for a fact. Although my husband’s side of
the story makes much more sense to me and our families, the reality is
regardless what the truth is, my husband was arrested, had to pay bail, had to
hire a lawyer, and has to go to court behind this. His and my life has been
inconveniently interrupted by this.
As a woman and a wife, I am dealing with this issue on more
than one level. My husband feels extremely bad, because he is being portrayed
as someone totally against his character. He’s never been accused of something
he did not do before, and is uncertain how to deal with the possibilities of
losing his family and his freedom behind a complete lie. So I have to be
emotionally available to him during this.
On the other hand, I’m a wife who is hearing that my husband
did some awful things to a female that not only disrespected my marriage, but
made my husband look sinister. Immediately I had to ask myself, “Do I believe
that the man I love and adore did these things?”
I thought of the situation that took place in my very own
novel, Diary of a Mistress, and I was
able to answer the question right away. Hell no, my husband did not do this!
This is just an example of how a lie can alter people’s lives. At this moment
in time, I have to follow my heart and my gut, and not the words and
accusations of a woman I never met.
So, what is the lesson here? That sometimes one plus one
doesn’t equal two. This is the exact lesson I aimed to deliver in Diary of a Mistress. Sometimes ladies,
your man is innocent.
There are some women in the world who are crazy enough to
lie, even if it means serious consequences to the person they lie on. With the
judicial system working in the woman’s favor most times, men in these type
cases are guilty until proven innocent. It’s sad but true. The bottom line is,
people get accused, charged, and in many situations, convicted of things they
absolutely did not do.
In recent years there have been hundreds of prisoners
exonerated after DNA evidence proved their innocence. Take into account they
are exonerated after serving time in
prison—some as long as 25 years for crimes they did not commit.
It sends chills through me just thinking of something like
this happening to my husband and my family. While I myself can’t understand why
a person would play games with another person’s life like this, it happens and
more often than not. I can’t help but wonder if people realize the magnitude of
what they are doing. I would like to believe that they do but in case they
don’t.
Here’s a statement to the women out there, and even men, who
deliberately spread rumors, make up lies, or falsely accuse people for whatever
reasons: Please stop and think about the aftermath. Think about the
relationship you may destroy, the children who may lose their parents as a
result, and ultimately the man or woman who may lose his or her freedom. This
is a dangerous line to cross.
While I have faith that my husband and I will get through
this successfully, I greatly feel for the hundreds and thousands of couples and
families who do not.
Miasha is the author
of Don’t Make Me Dinner, Make Me Rich! How to Be the Superwoman of Today,
coming soon. She is also author of fiction bestsellers Diary of a Mistress,
Mommy’s Angel, and Sistah for Sale,
all available in bookstores and online nationwide. For more information or to
hear Miasha address your comments, go to her website www.miasha.com and click on Miasha TV-Real
Talk.
