Studio: Sony
Pictures
Release
Date: June 6
Cast: Adam
Sandler, John Turturro, Emmanuelle, Chriqui, Rob Schneider, Dave Matthews, Chris
Rock
Ok, I’m officially over Adam Sandler. Long gone
are the Happy Madison days of Happy
Gilmore, Big Daddy
and Bobby’ Boucher in the Waterboy; movies that tempted you to p### in your pants fromlaughing so hard.
With his latest release, You Don’t Mess with the Zohan, Sandler has regrettable lost it.
The plot revolves around the constant disputes
between the Israeli and Palestinian people. His character, The Zohan, enlisted
in the army and has become an ultimate kick-ass, go-to guy.
In the first series of scenes, he’s vacationing on
some Florida beach, relieved to be away from his never-ending fighting and the constant
violence. Let me just say that I loved the first 10 minutes of the movie. I
even laughed once or twice.
As an avid fan of Sandler, I can appreciate the
continuous ass shots and buffed physique that he boastfully displays after such
films as Spanglish and Click, where he portrays hefty father
figures. The plot, of course, shifts when he’s called back to service to
capture a goofy terrorist, The Phantom, played by John Turturro (from such Spike
Lee classics as Jungle Fever, Mo’ Better Blues and Do the Right Thing).
Completely unbelievable as a 37-year-old
destructor, The Phantom has been released in a trade by Zohan’s army just
months after Zohan heroically caught him. But there’s a job to be done and the
best man to do it is the Zohan. This plan to capture The Phantom again
ultimately becomes a perfect decoy for his great escape; escape from the
fighting and his escape to America.
Even more ridiculous, is that the Zohan only dreams
of making the hair “silky smooth.” He’s unleashed to the shores of America and
heads directly to the Paul Mitchell salon where he knows that he’s the one to
become Mitchell’s next great thing. Instead, he’s laughed out the salon and
into an all Israeli and Palestine neighborhood. The only people that will give
him a chance to cut hair are the very people that’s he’s running away from.
No surprise, there’s a woman involved, several
women actually. His methods of making the hair silky smooth have a way with the
ladies and his dreams of becoming a successful hair stylist are fulfilled.
There are more laughable moments and characters in the hair salon as The Zohan
develops his technique and brings his own flavor to this American beauty salon.
The movie falls flat after the first 30 minutes,
relying mostly on bumping and grinding and ethnic jokes to convey comedic
storytelling. Mind you, the main characters who were suppose to be of ethnic
backgrounds were actually ethnic people just not Israelis or Palestinians,
mostly actors who we haven’t seen in ages but found funny 10 or even 20 years
ago.
Towards the end of the movie, you’ll recognize
several funny faces from both television and silver screen fame, however, not
even Mrs. Garrett from the Facts of Life
can save this latest Sandler effort.
I really wanted to love this movie. I thought the
trailer was hysterical, but the actual film was unfulfilling. Like an old lover
who’s lost its spark, Adam Sandler continues to use the same tricks that worked
back when Bobby Boucher was still eating gator cobbler. Now the damn thing just
stinks.
