The NBA Finals Finale

We have come to the end of another National Basketball Association season. And I will go on record to say that I will miss it. Will I miss the “Where Amazing Happens” commercials? Probably not, because it’s about time that the league spearheads a new marketing campaign. Will I miss the “Most Valuable Puppets” commercials […]

We have come to the end of another National Basketball Association season. And I will go on record to say that I will miss it. Will I miss the “Where Amazing Happens” commercials? Probably not, because it’s about time that the league spearheads a new marketing campaign. Will I miss the “Most Valuable Puppets” commercials starring Lebron James and Kobe Bryant? Probably not, because Lil’ Dez rapped in the last commercial, and I’m sorry to say it but, he killed 85% of the non-puppet rappers in the game. Finally, will I miss NBA Superstars that could hit wacky half court shots during practice but takes an Epic Fail in hitting clutch shots when it counts? Probably not, because I would hope that these superstars that are not fitting their fingers for jewelry this summer will realize that nobody has footage of Kobe taking any shots from half court and look what it got him.

The Los Angeles Lakers are the NBA World Champions for 2009 and I’ll man up to say that I didn’t predict it. My prediction of the Orlando Magic winning in 6 was beginning to look pretty good until inexperience showed up. Stan Van Gundy is a great coach. However, he is no Phil Jackson. The Zen Master would never had foiled team chemistry just to give a player, whether he earned it or not, game time in the NBA Finals. When Van Gundy inserted the NBA All-Star, Jameer Nelson on the court, sitting Rafer “Skip to my Lou” Alston on the bench for long periods of time, he took the air out of a team that learned to fight together over the past four months. The Magic fought back to beat the Sixers in the first round; fought back from being down 3-2 to eliminate the Celtics; handed walking papers to the “unstoppable” Cleveland Cavaliers, just to fall on their face to the Lakers?

Phil Jackson would have made it his dying wish to have his best or most clutch player, taking the last shot in regulation; not a rookie, not a career team hopper whom last name rhymes with peaches. Phil has won his tenth championship as a coach because he sticks to what works and adjusts on the fly better than any other coach in NBA history. And if you haven’t noticed, Phil wins championships in three’s. So if you know Phil and his on court general like I do, winning two more consecutive championships is a MUST, or this one won’t even count.

So Kobe Bryant will receive his fourth ring, and first as the leader of a team. Congrats on that. There are a lot of AHH loyalists that love the sound of that. I’d like to say that you are more than just the best player in the league; you are Phil Jackson’s #1 pupil. When you realized a few years back that you didn’t have a team that could win you a ring, you took it upon yourself to shake the boat until Jerry Buss got queezy. C’mon Kobe, we both know that you weren’t going to leave the Lakers. Why would you leave a team that needed a few tweaks, for a team that you’d have to start from ground level to make a contender? Really Kobe, really? I don’t know why anybody believed your mind games anyway. I saw right through them. The Black Mamba my a**… you are the Black Phil Jackson, that’s who you are.

NEWS JUST IN: The Cleveland Cavaliers are looking into making a trade to bring Shaquille O’Neal to Loserville. Extensive research brought me to the conclusion that Cleveland gets pretty cold and Shaq, better known for his warm city choices, might take the opportunity of extending his career, he just won’t be enthused by the trips in two feet of snow to the arena. Furthermore, you already have an All-Star center in Zydrunas Ilgauskas. And you should know that Shaq will not accept a bench role (i.e. Allen Iverson). Cleveland, I have already gone on record that what you NEED is a Power Forward, not the Big Shaqtus. Damn, if you are willing to make this move, maybe the writing is on the wall that Lebron will leave Cleveland in 2010. Where are the Knicks fans at? We haven’t heard from you all year!

What will you miss about this season? Has Trevor Ariza taken that position of ‘Kobe’s Sidekick’ that was handed to Lamar Odom? Will Lil’ Dez do a song with Drake?