Hexmurda’s Column: The Vice Of Fame

Whutupdoe…I had this great article written out about one of the mainstays in entertainment for people of color.

 

If I do say so myself, I WENT THE F**K IN.

 

Unfortunately, someone called a Klan meeting and shut the piece down.

 

Oh,the humanity.

 

It was brilliant.

 

Extravagant.

 

Monumental.

 

F**king awesome.

 

Gnarly.

 

Oh,well.

 

If you n***as keep thinking there aren’t Powers That Be overseeing everything, even what you listen to, read and write, then you may as well put the collars on your own necks and whip yourselves.

 

Whatever, f**k it now.

 

I’m sure that piece will show up somewhere, floating around like the Willie Lynch letter. As a matter of fact, I can guarantee it.

 

So…what do we talk about today…oh, I know.

 

Let’s talk about FAME.

 

Naw, not Coco and Leroy “FAME”, not even Jay-Z fame.

 

Let’s talk about n***as being famous for no f**king reason.

Over 40 years ago, Andy Warhol said that in the future everybody will be world-famous for 15 minutes.

 

That n***a was like f**king Nostradamus.

 

It seems that people are becoming famous (or infamous) for some of the dumbest s**t.

 

Lorena Bobbitt, John Wayne Bobbitt, Devin Brown,Octo Mom, Monica Lewinsky, Jon and Kate, Rodney King, Superhead, Tila Tequila, etc.

Those are just names off the top of my head, but at first glance it appears that you can become famous for sucking d**k, having a bunch of kids, getting beat the f**k up, or getting your d**k cut off. Great.

 

I don’t want to be famous that muthaf**king bad.

 

But some people do.

 

As a matter of fact, A LOT of people do.

 

That’s why we’ve got all these dumb-ass reality shows, like “Survivor,” “Big Brother” and “The Apprentice.” These are kind of like Reality Game shows, where you win prizes throughout while facing eliminations and s**t. Winning the grand prize is surely a great reward, but I don’t think that’s what everyone is there for.

A lot of them are there to become famous.

 

 

Come on, dog. I know you didn’t think those chicks on Flavor of Love REALLY wanted to marry f**king Flavor Flav, did you? That s**t just proved to me that some women will do ANYTHING to be on TV.

Maybe a couple of those slores on the Ray-J show did want to get a Kardashian facial from Brandy’s brother, but most of them just wanted to be featured in Eye Candy.

 

The funniest s**t about the nimrods on those shows is that they’re only famous until the next season starts, then they’ve got a whole new cast of human clay to play with, and the old cast members are like dust in the wind.

 

Remember the “Real World”?

 

I don’t remember anybody from that s**t except Kevin Powell, Heather B. and Coral.

 

Oh, and when Kenny Anderson’s broad and that dumb white chick tried to say that dude David from “House Party 3” was a rapist because he pulled her covers off.

 

What are we on, “Real World 49, Mars”?

They’re running out of cities. We should be coming up on “Real World, Compton” pretty f**king soon.

I can’t wait to see that s**t.

 

The problem with getting on TV is that it can get messy, time consuming. Audition tapes, casting calls, call backs, etc. Who needs all that s**t when you’ve got the Greatest Invention In The World (thanks Al Gore), the Internet right at your fingertips to lead you directly to the Second Greatest Invention in The World-youtube.

That’s right ladies and jerks, the great youtube!

ANYBODY can become famous on youtube. All you need is a camera and a dumb f**king idea (like you can rap).

Yup, with youtube, even YOU can create dumb ass songs/dances and sit back and wait for Mr. Collipark to come scoop you up in a stretch limo.

 

S**t, with youtube you can have your own f**king CHANNEL and broadcast your WHOLE F**KING LIFE. If you’re already famous, you can even make your girlfriend famous.

 

But a funny thing can happen with fame.

 

It can consume you.

 

It can become YOU.

 

Whatever persona a person creates to achieve a desired level of fame can eat said person alive.

 

Seems like everybody wants the cameras pointed at them. Not just their own cameras, but everybody elses, too.

 

The problem is, you can’t control all of them.

Sooner or later they’re gonna catch you taking a s**t.

 

So what does all this s**t have to do with Hip-Hop?

EVERY-F**KING-THING.

 

Rappers these days want to be seen, they want to be the topic of discussion, they want to be the Main Attraction. Unfortunately, only a few can achieve that status through actual talent, others have to resort to other means to get attention. Some n***as go on youtube and do a music video a day,or go on other sites like WSHH and basically just talk s**t about other rappers. No music, or actual raps, just calling some other dude a bitch.

 

Rappers want the spotlight at any cost, if it’s creating fake or real beefs, or incriminating themselves on audio or visual. They don’t give a f**k.

 

They’re all screaming “LOOK AT ME!” and trying to see who can

scream it the loudest.

 

Sometimes you scream and get the wrong peoples attention.

Then THEY’LL make you famous.

 

N***as always wanna be in the Public Eye. Well, the Public Eye doesn’t shut, kids. You can’t just be famous when you feel like it.

Get too famous, and you can end up involuntarily becoming a hermit, or with pictures of your private area plastered all over public newsstands.

 

Gotta be careful what you wish for.

 

The quest for fame and glory evidently knows no boundaries.

Sooner or later some nobody is gonna go on youtube or ustream and cut their d**k off, and they’re gonna become The Most Famous Person In The World.

 

For about 15 minutes.

 

Then somebody else is gonna blow their f**king brains out live and in color, and take that title.

 

Then the penis amputee is just gonna be The Guy With No d**k, and the Suicidal Exhibitionist is just gonna be dead.

 

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