Last Word: ‘Twas the Night Before New Year’s ’09

What’s going on folks? Here we are at the end of another year and decade. 2009 definitely had its share of ups and downs. From health care generating passionate and violent debates among people to Jon and Kate and the balloon boy situations to the whole ruckus over the swine flu, it’s been quite a year. And when you add the rise of Twitter and Bernie Madoff going to prison after pulling off the biggest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history as well as John Edwards, Tiger Woods and SC governor Mark Sanford coming clean about their infidelity, this year was truly unique in its own right.

 

Complete with historical moments such as the Supreme Court swearing in its first Hispanic justice and the inauguration of Barack Obama as the 44th U.S. President and first African American leader of the free world.  So now, we come to this moment, as we wrap it all up with the third annual “‘Twas the Night Before New Years,” another parody of Clement Clarke Moore’s “The Night Before Christmas.”

 

Shout out to Mr. Moore for supplying the blueprint for what you will read below, Skillz for providing the inspiration for this with his annual “Rap-Ups” and the sounding boards for making this year something to reminisce over.

 

Now that we got the preliminaries out of the way, let’s strike up the band for…the final Last Word for the year: ‘Twas the Night Before New Year’s ‘09

 

‘Twas the night before New Year’s, when all through the house

Chris Brown’s image transformed for the worse, who could’ve imagined the fallout

 

Mariah seems so obsessed with putting a fork in ‘09

Michael’s no longer with us, so let’s just remember the time

 

When the new jacks were swingin’ and Teddy Riley was the Guy

Groups were unified, not an intermission for solo acts on standby

 

Trey Songz searches for test subjects to try out one of his new inventions

Science is hard work, which can involve a lot of positions

 

In walks a star, it’s Jeremih’s birthday

Could Taylor have been  any more famous if it wasn’t for Kanye?

 

Nestled all snug in their beds, there lay Rihanna and Mary J.

With visions of Drake and slaps for Kendu, dreaming sweet dreams like Beyonce

 

Keri Hilson in her kerchief, D’Angelo in his cap

His album will be a while, might as well take a nap

 

Mya hits the floor to dance a little dance

R. Kelly gets religious and hits number one, so much for taking a chance

 

DJ C-Rob is on the 1s and 2s, providing the appropriate soundtrack

There’s a lot of mingling and flirting as the alcohol starts to make people far from laid back

 

Blame it on Jamie Foxx, a law-abiding ladies man

No need to act proper and unfaithful when you’ve hit the beach with your own sand

 

It’s a good time, live it up for the moment

All’s fair in love and war, as Amerie makes peace with her opponent

 

As the night goes on and the hours draw down

The party gets crashed with Alicia Keys and Mashonda hitting the ground

 

Fighting over Swizz, a singer becomes a relationship protector

An empire state of mind can’t overshadow perceptions of being a homewrecker

 

Pleasure P offered his services, as a boyfriend #2

Whitney Houston hooks back up with Ray J, is that the best she can do?

 

Taraji P. Henson is still beaming , getting an Oscar nod was cool

Transformers 2 was a major disappointment with twin Autobots actin’ the damn fool

 

As Melanie Fiona clears her throat to sing “Auld Lang Syne,” a crowd forms by the piano

Maxwell pops in with Sade as everyone wonders “Where have the two of you been, yo?”

 

Long time no hear from, we really miss you

Miss Adu, when it comes to matters of the heart, what’s a soldier of love to do?

 

Collaborations are interesting, Lady Gaga and Susan Boyle discuss the possibility

Dr. Robin Thicke issues medical advice to groupies that include some bedside sex therapy

 

A Grammy snub for The-Dream, who walked the moon while rockin’ that sh*t

Tiger Woods had many mistresses, his privacy and marriage went from syrup to sh*t

 

It’s not easy being famous, as many celebs can confirm

Those who get too close to the fire always seem to get burned

 

A new year, a clean slate, a fresh 365

As with any game that’s played, the object is to simply prosper and survive

 

R.I.P. to Michael Jackson, Walter Cronkite, Steve McNair, Ted Kennedy, Chris Henry and Brittany Murphy, who’s smile I will miss.

Respect due to Patrick Swayze, Ed McMahon, DJ AM, Farrah Fawcett and Ricardo Montalban. Remember the good times, I insist.

 

Time to close the book on 2009, a new year is on the horizon.

Stay blessed, stay driven and stay positive, as you conquer 2010 with much swagger and no hidin’!!

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