Whats going on folks? Here we are at the end of another year and decade. 2009 definitely had its share of ups and downs. From health care generating passionate and violent debates among people to Jon and Kate and the balloon boy situations to the whole ruckus over the swine flu, its been quite a year. And when you add the rise of Twitter and Bernie Madoff going to prison after pulling off the biggest Ponzi scheme in U.S. history as well as John Edwards, Tiger Woods and SC governor Mark Sanford coming clean about their infidelity, this year was truly unique in its own right.
Complete with historical moments such as the Supreme Court swearing in its first Hispanic justice and the inauguration of Barack Obama as the 44th U.S. President and first African American leader of the free world. So now, we come to this moment, as we wrap it all up with the third annual “Twas the Night Before New Years,” another parody of Clement Clarke Moores “The Night Before Christmas.”
Shout out to Mr. Moore for supplying the blueprint for what you will read below, Skillz for providing the inspiration for this with his annual “Rap-Ups” and the sounding boards for making this year something to reminisce over.
Now that we got the preliminaries out of the way, lets strike up the band for the final Last Word for the year: Twas the Night Before New Years 09
Twas the night before New Years, when all through the house
Chris Browns image transformed for the worse, who couldve imagined the fallout
Mariah seems so obsessed with putting a fork in 09
Michaels no longer with us, so lets just remember the time
When the new jacks were swingin and Teddy Riley was the Guy
Groups were unified, not an intermission for solo acts on standby
Trey Songz searches for test subjects to try out one of his new inventions
Science is hard work, which can involve a lot of positions
In walks a star, its Jeremihs birthday
Could Taylor have been any more famous if it wasnt for Kanye?
Nestled all snug in their beds, there lay Rihanna and Mary J.
With visions of Drake and slaps for Kendu, dreaming sweet dreams like Beyonce
Keri Hilson in her kerchief, DAngelo in his cap
His album will be a while, might as well take a nap
Mya hits the floor to dance a little dance
R. Kelly gets religious and hits number one, so much for taking a chance
DJ C-Rob is on the 1s and 2s, providing the appropriate soundtrack
Theres a lot of mingling and flirting as the alcohol starts to make people far from laid back
Blame it on Jamie Foxx, a law-abiding ladies man
No need to act proper and unfaithful when youve hit the beach with your own sand
Its a good time, live it up for the moment
Alls fair in love and war, as Amerie makes peace with her opponent
As the night goes on and the hours draw down
The party gets crashed with Alicia Keys and Mashonda hitting the ground
Fighting over Swizz, a singer becomes a relationship protector
An empire state of mind cant overshadow perceptions of being a homewrecker
Pleasure P offered his services, as a boyfriend #2
Whitney Houston hooks back up with Ray J, is that the best she can do?
Taraji P. Henson is still beaming , getting an Oscar nod was cool
Transformers 2 was a major disappointment with twin Autobots actin’ the damn fool
As Melanie Fiona clears her throat to sing Auld Lang Syne, a crowd forms by the piano
Maxwell pops in with Sade as everyone wonders Where have the two of you been, yo?
Long time no hear from, we really miss you
Miss Adu, when it comes to matters of the heart, whats a soldier of love to do?
Collaborations are interesting, Lady Gaga and Susan Boyle discuss the possibility
Dr. Robin Thicke issues medical advice to groupies that include some bedside sex therapy
A Grammy snub for The-Dream, who walked the moon while rockin that sh*t
Tiger Woods had many mistresses, his privacy and marriage went from syrup to sh*t
Its not easy being famous, as many celebs can confirm
Those who get too close to the fire always seem to get burned
A new year, a clean slate, a fresh 365
As with any game thats played, the object is to simply prosper and survive
R.I.P. to Michael Jackson, Walter Cronkite, Steve McNair, Ted Kennedy, Chris Henry and Brittany Murphy, whos smile I will miss.
Respect due to Patrick Swayze, Ed McMahon, DJ AM, Farrah Fawcett and Ricardo Montalban. Remember the good times, I insist.
Time to close the book on 2009, a new year is on the horizon.
Stay blessed, stay driven and stay positive, as you conquer 2010 with much swagger and no hidin’!!