What is this whole thing with many of our Hip Hop All Stars getting caught on record doing and saying stupid things in social media that will live on in infamy when it comes to baby mama drama? First, it was Kanye West, Wiz Khalifa and Amber Rose over what should have been some harmless lowercase initials, and now it's some not so modern uncoupling drama between Ciara and her baby daddy Future following what was otherwise a completely A-list marriage proposal between Ciara and her newly minted fiancee, NFL Seattle Seahawks quarterback Russell Wilson this past weekend on Honeymoon Beach at the exclusive North Island resort located in the Seychelles.
It's a crying shame for everyone involved - and that's when we necessarily put ourselves as fans as the low guy on the totem pole safely behind the star exes who do it to each other, and their kids that get left up front and center, lodged firmly in all of that caustic vitriol - chocked full of lawsuits, deleted social media feuds and nasty twitter trolls. A bitter public picture indeed.
As such, we thought we'd put together an aspirational guide to breakups for the musically blessed rich and famous, aka a mini bucket list of what to do and not to do when you are famous and have unresolved baby mama/baby daddy drama. And like we said, it's purely aspirational. Heaven knows, famous or not, we have all been in that place where upon seeing your well adjusted ex, it takes everything in you not to slap the taste of happiness right out of their mouth - no matter whose child may be present. And that's all without the benefit of knowing first hand what it is like to have random people trolling our twitter page letting us know just how much better our ex has it now that we are out of the picture.
So, here it goes:
- When it comes to vengeance, social media is not your friend but your pimp. Yes, we get it. It's lonely at the top and maybe, despite having the money to do so, you don't want to pay somebody to listen to your unresolved issues with your famous ex who has your child, or somebody else's child. But when it comes to working the system or letting it work you, twitter and the people tweeting back to you on it are not working for your team or even invested in who the heck you are in the IRL. They are getting entertainment off of you - hook line and sinker. Go into it knowing this when you share and in knowing that, seller beware.
- Do the record and then be done with it. It would seem to be foolhardy if not fruitless to tell an artist that they shouldn't use their life as fodder for their music - so we aren't going to stupidly suggest that. However, if you are going to use your gift to air out what went down between you and your ex, just make sure it's more cathartic than vindictive when it comes to the makeup of all of that fire you are spitting and spinning into reality. After all, your music is nothing if not your legacy and if you are done with that *&^% then they shouldn't be taking over all of your art like that, now should they? Take the high road versus just kissing and telling like that girl who rhymes with sailor, who is real "swift" when it comes to playing the victim when it comes to those guys who weren't "The One" and did her wrong by refusing to be that dude.
- Don't do anything rash that makes you look like a jackass after the fact. If Kanye had taken a minute to think about exactly what Wiz might have logically meant, especially given who Wiz is, when he tweeted, "hit this kk and become yourself," Kanye might have realized how unlikely it was that Wiz was talking about anything other than weed versus a Kardashian, or any other woman for that matter, as a path towards self discovery and enlightenment. Much of the same sort of Monday morning quarterbacking (excuse the pun) comes to mind when one examines Future's rash decision to drop a reported $21,000 at the strip club Vlive Dallas immediately after the announcement of Ciara and Russell Wilson's engagement. True, $21,000 is nothing compared to the $75,000 that Meek Mill spent when both he and Future were partying at the Vanity Grand Cabaret strip club in Philadelphia just a few weeks earlier in February, but as an admired public music figure, timing is everything when it comes to how you look doing such things right after your ex fiancee just became somebody else's fiancee on a literal Honeymoon Beach that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie-Pitt, David and Victoria Beckham and William and Katherine, the Duke and Duchess Cambridge, have been known to frequent. The inevitable comparisons after the fact are sure to do nothing good for you - whether you claim to care or not.
- Lastly, remember who you are. You were something musically great and inspirational before you met your baby mama/ baby daddy and you and your your kid will definitely outlive that drama - no matter how crazy it gets. Knowing this, guard your reputation and who you can claim to be in your kids' eyes from this point forward. Live by that knowledge, and no matter how low you feel now, you are sure to rise like a phoenix from the ashes once all of the drama is finally done.