Remy Martin: Answers Your Questions

Remy Ma checks in with to answer

some advice questions. From the absurd to the serious, Remy Ma may just know

the answers to the universe!

Dear Remy,

Me and my girl have the worst fights...she

likes to make it physical by hitting me.... Sometimes, I get the urge to knock her a** out, but I don't... What's the best way to remedy this with the girl

I happen to like (maybe love)... Hit me back, Remy.

-Sgt.Mashout! From Brooklyn


What's Poppin, Sgt. Mashout from BK. First

off, I love your name, hope you stand up to it. Now as far as this girl you "like (maybe love)" goes, I think all she really needs is a taste of her own medicine. I'm not saying "knock her ass out" the next time she gets physical with you because nine times out of ten a chick that's quick to hit you is even quicker to pick up the phone, call police, and get your ass locked up. And domestic violence is such a lame charge. However, getting your sister, cousin, or a hoodrat from your block to put her under pressure is not a crime. But don't let it seem like you set it up, she won't like the fact that her man got her smacked. And if that doesn't work, leave her alone for awhile. She will miss you, hopefully, and start acting right when you take her back.

That don't work then f*ck that b*tch!

Dear Remy,

A-yo, Doggette, should I stay in school?

-Pink Panther


Uhhmm, yeah stupid! (I don't believe you had

to ask that you definitely should focus on staying in school!) Matterfact, drop out. Be nothing. Stay broke. Become a homeless bum, that's

what's up.


I'm trying to get my career in pornography

going...any advice? Also, I saw where you and your girls break a n*gga off and leave him - basically you do him like dudes do women...I was thinkin' I could

be that dude that y'all sexually abuse sometime?

-Daredevil, Wilmington, Delaware


Hey Daredevil of Delaware. It's so nice to

know you would voluntarily be me and my friends sex slave. Seriously, I'm flattered to know you would allow us to try and/or practice sexual activities on you, stick foreign objects into your body crevices and openings, and when we're done act like we don't know or ever even met you. However, it's no fun when the guy is willing to do anything and enjoying it. Sorry, you don't qualify. But as far as your "career in pornography", thanks to the internet, it could be right around the corner. First, find a slut bag whore or two that's trying to start her porno career. That shouldn't be hard (no PUN intended). Next, make

a few home videos, then get a website. Good Luck

Dear Remy,

I neeeeeed some great Moral + Investment advice,

being close ta broke again, I kinda want some money. Should I sell my dead grandpa's stock in the Corn Industry??? He told me not to, but then again I'm broke. Should I, & What's the best predicted date & time ta sell the dead muthaf*ckkas


Thanks Remy,

Caveman, Berkley, California


Caveman, Caveman, Caveman sorry to tell you

but, "being close to broke" is the same thing as being broke. I don't know about the Corn Industry stock but I know stocks period are good investments. That's long term money. Selling it would get you some paper for now but once that's gone, then what? I mean if you're about to get evicted or something serious and can't get no money from anywhere else, I guess you have no choice. Otherwise, stop being lazy. Get a job, hit the block, go find some b*tch to support you, do something besides sitting around "wanting money." That's not cute.

P.S. R.I.P. Grandpa

Dear Remy,

This Is a true question, Me and my girl get

into it from time to time but overall we are happy in the relationship. Now Im a young 19 year old man and I hav the sex drive of one, But my girl is only one year younger than me and she seems like she cant handle it. I mean half the time the sex is good but the other half Im doin all the work. Before I got wit her I had plenty broads that was given me plenty good p*ssy but I stopped that for my girl. Now I kinda been thinkin about creepin a lil bit because those

same broads still keep in touch. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

From, NEBROKSICU in Southside Chicago


What's really good with you Nebroksicu?!

You're 19, your girl is 18. You want pipe, she don't. And when she do, she's roadkill. You call this "a happy relationship?!" You can't be serious. Instead of thinking about creeping, you should be thinking about leaving. Then you can do whatever, or should I say whoever, you want. If you need help with that I got plenty of friends that love little 19 year olds with a little 19 year old's sex drive. However, if you want to stay with her for whatever reasons, do like almost every other n*gga does, play like Lil'

Jon and get low with the next chick behind her back.

Hey Remy,

I have a rare virus called A.D.E.R and the

only way I can cure it is if u e-mail me nude photos so could you help a sick

guy out?

Concepts25 from Los Angeles


Let me get this straight, you have a rare

virus, that I never heard of by the way, called A.D.E.R. (Whatever that stands for) and you want me to cure you by e-mailing you naked flicks of me. Yeah, you're sick alright. And that sh*t might be contagious. And I don't want it.