The R Kelly Trial: A Play by Play Part Four - A Picture is Presented of The Video Star

The views expressed in this Trial update are not the views expressed by This and every update on the R. Kelly Trial for AllHipHop Alternatives is purely for entertainment purposes.Hey guys! I am back to give you another blow by blow of the recent happenings in the R. Kelly trial. This trial is turning out to be more entertaining than a Pussycat Dolls Video.If f**kery came in a box and could be handed out, it seems R.Kelly’s defense probably would buy as many boxes as they could find and hand them out to everyone, including children. Today the defense showed everyone in the courtroom a picture of the Pissee (Ms. Pissee if you’re nasty), in which she wore braces. This picture was supposedly taken in the late ‘90s, around the time the video was supposedly made. I found it funny that no one in that goddamned circus seemed to remember when exactly the Pissee wore braces. All attorney douchebag kept saying was somewhere between 1998-2000. What is this a f**king board game? We need the exact dates of when she wore braces…not the approximate number of grown ass men the Pissee let get into her Candyland! Are you f**king kidding me with this? Dude must want R.Kelly to s**t and vomit on his family! Dude seriously needs to kick this defense into high gear! If his defense is resting on a removable piece of dental wear, then he better get the toilet paper ready because his family is in for a ride!A family friend who works with the Pissee’s mother named Tjada Burnett was called to the stand. She identified the Pissee as well as R. Kelly as being the two people in the piss video. She even said she had met him a few times. Uh-oh! A few times? You think she let him piss that? She is cool with Mama Pissee after all. And you know that they say…birds of a feather…Then a former employee of R.Kelly, Lindsey Perryman, testified that she was 110% sure that it was R. Kelly and the Pissee in the video tape, even though at first she did not want to believe it. She continued to say he was really good to her. Who gives a herpes’ sore how nice he was to her?! Why is she inserting that as though it matters? I’m sure Suge Knight was nice to people too when he wasn’t dangling them from a window. You know what guys? Where is Monica Lewinsky when you need her? You know if this case involved her she would probably have a stained dress to present and the case would be over by now! Good thing she isn’t or else we’d have nothing to laugh about…Stay tuned guys.Check out Part One of the TrialCheck out Part Two of the TrialCheck out Part Three of the Trial