The R Kelly Trial: A Play by Play Part Three - Sparkle Speaks!

The views expressed in this Trial update are not the views expressed by people! (que the clown music) Ok so it seems Thursday was another exciting day for urine and R. Kelly!Thursday began with some crazy 48-year-old broad named Debra Triplet (who was obviously an R. Kelly fan) screaming out “free R.Kelly” as the jurors stepped off the elevator near the courtroom. Has it really come to this? R.Kelly ain’t Mumia Abu Jamal! He ain’t the Jena 6! And at 48-years-old, shouldn’t you be home getting pissed on by your own husband instead of causing interruptions! Sheesh! These damned groupies don’t get any wiser with age, I tell ya. Anywho, they ended up slapping cuffs on her and holding her in contempt of court in lieu of a $50,000 bond. Now ain’t that some s**t! Now your family has to waste 50k to get you out of jail. You could have used the 50k to feed the homeless, or donate to charity, or pay R.Kelly to send you some of his piss!So on Thursday, Stephanie “Sparkle” Edwards took the stand. Most of the reports identify Sparkle as simply a former backup singer for R. Kelly. How disrespectful! Don’t they remember the life changing music she made as a solo artist? Anyway…I digress. So homegirl basically said that she introduced her niece to R. Kelly when her niece (the pissee) was twelve years old. She said R liked her “spirit” –translation– she had a face perfect for pissin. Also why the hell do people introduce minors to R. Kelly after he got married to a 15-year-old! This ain’t Utah! Sparkle went on to say she knew it was her niece in the video, because you just know your blood. Is she saying that she always knew that her niece was a ho in training? Or is she simply saying that she can see that it’s her in the tape? Hmmm. So the cross-examination of Sparkle got heated, guys! Her and R’s attorney were getting it poppin’ in the courtroom! The Chicago was about to come out of Sparkle quick! R’s dickhead attorney was trying to insinuate that Sparkle had an axe to the grind with R. Kelly and that she was trying to get money out of him. Boo! Try again! If she was trying to get money she could have just sold the video out of the cardboard box that she undoubtedly lives in now. At one point during the cross-examination, she says to R’s attorney, “Sweetie, not trying to get money out of this.” The douchebag lawyer replies by yelling, “I’m not your sweetie!” Is it just me or is this GOOD STUFF?! Their conversation got so heated that the judge basically told them to shut the f**k up. Better be careful what you say to Sparkle! It just might turn around on you…(ok, so I’m shamelessly quoting her only song!)They also called another friend of the pissee to testify. Her name was Audrey Hampton. She basically said she could tell it was ole girl in the tape from her face, mannerisms, and “the way she licked her bottom lip.” Hmmm sounds like maybe these two might have been more than friends. No? Also it seems like the sex tape got around more than Mya in the ‘90s. Because ol’ girl’s aunt and uncle had it, Sparkle had it, then Audrey had it and hid it in her room, then her mama found it! Then mama watched the tape! Mama said she watched some parts and then threw it in the trash..Hmm do you think mama was rubbing the carpet while she watched the tape? Ha!Ok so just to recap we have two of the pissee’s “friends” (I put it in quotes ‘cause I’m pretty sure they are not friends now) saying it was her on the tape. We have her friend’s mama saying it was her on the tape. Then we got we have Musical Trailblazer Sparkle (Ha!) saying it was her on the tape. Then you got ol’ girl’s aunt and uncle saying the same damn thing! How many more people do they need! Damnit, they need Kiko Michaels on the stand! Since it seems they are calling all of North America to the witness stand. Stay tuned guys…Check out Part One of the TrialCheck out Part Two of the Trial