The R Kelly Trial: A Play by Play Part Two

The views expressed in this Trial Update are not the views expressed by guys and gals! I’m here with another update on the R. Kelly trial. I also have some goodies for you from yesterday that I missed. “Trapped In the Closet” ain’t got nothing on this trial! This is some exciting s**t!Ok so yesterday the prosecution, in efforts to confirm the identity of the girl in the tape (who going forward will be referred to as the pissee), called four different people to the stand. And guess what? They all said the same goddamned thing - it was ol' girl in the video! They called the pissee’s BFF, who when asked how she knew it was R. Kelly’s body in the video she responded, "Because his head was attached to it." I think I’m in love with this girl! Then the girl went on to say she knew it was her friend in the video because they both had the same hairstyle at the time...a mullet. What! I don’t know what’s worse, that she has a friend who was a porn star at 13, or the fact that she had a mullet! Eww! They also called the aunt and uncle of the pissee to the stand and they spoke on how their niece’s involvement in the video was the talk of the neighborhood. Oh my! Can you imagine? That must make things uncomfortable at the summer block parties!The defense tried to say that the pissee never told her friend that she was “reminding R.Kelly of his jeep,” because nothing was going on. Bulls**t! Girls lie about who they are banging all the time! Right Rihanna? Anyways…Hey remember Sparkle? She had that song that sang "You better be careful what you do to me." (How ironic are those lyrics now, Kells?) Well somehow she is involved with all of this because it was her that played the video for the aunt and uncle of the pissee. Hey did I mention the aunt is a cop! Doesn’t that make this story even better? The defense was saying that they did not immediately go to the police because they were trying to help Sparkle (who had an axe to grind) extort R. Kelly. They even went as far as to say that the video was altered! That is one elaborate way to say “Give me back my publishing!” and “It’s your fault I have no music career!” If that video was altered then s**t, the person who altered it needs a job making music videos! Makes Amy Winehouse look like less of a crackskull!Anywho from the reports I’ve been getting, R. Kelly’s lawyer sounds like a real douchebag. Perhaps R has threatened to s**t on his lawyer’s family if the case goes badly? Who knows… Check Out Part One of the R. Kelly Trial Play by Play