It’s Joe Clair! Lets Clear Some Things Up...

What up, folks. It’s ya boy Joe Clair. I just got the nod from my homies to start writing for and I couldn’t be more excited. I have been waiting to get some s**t off my chest, in writing, for a long ass time. So check back here periodically to see what’s on my mind. With that said…Here we go!

Let me first start by saying that my name is Joe Clair. I am not no damn Joe Torry. For the past thirteen years of my life simple-minded muhf**kas have been walkin’ up to me or shoutin’ me out in the streets sayin’ “Oh s**t! What up Joe Torry!” I wish I could knock a n***a out every time that happens. No disrespect to Joe Torry, but dude is five foot something and black as hell. I am almost six feet with a wonderful cinnamon glow. (LOL) I’m writing about it ‘cause I wish y’all could see it. I’ll be in a mall somewhere in some city and a group of dudes will walk by. Then one of ‘em goes, “What up Joe Torry, you my n***a on MTV”. MTV? When this happens I see how White folks could have oppressed us in the first place. They know it’s always one loud and wrong n***a in every bunch. I wouldn’t trip, but it happens so often, I got to think that either it’s a conspiracy or that n***as is really dumb as hell. Got it. Joe Clair. Say it with me Jooohh Cllaaaairrr. Good.

Next, I had nothing to do with my departure from “Rap City.” If it was up to me, I would have stayed and been Don Cornelius on that joint. I loved that gig. It was my first gig out of college. I got it because of my love for Hip-Hop. I lost it because Hip-Hop, and urban entertainment in general, has become big business and there is no room for love in big business. Lemme repeat that, there is no room for love in this game! So while I truly love Hip-Hop and the Hip-Hop nation, BET ain’t love me all that much. Yeah, I know I got a new gig on the network, but it ain’t the same. Anybody who ever watched that show while I was hosting could feel my love oozing through the TV screen. To this day that is the thing I hear most in the streets. “Man Cleezy, we really miss you on that ‘Rap City.’ The new host ain’t like you and Lez!” ‘Cause we truly loved what we were doing. Honestly, I am a terrible interviewer. But if I get to talk to someone that I am a fan of or someone who shares my love for Hip-Hop then I can get a great conversation going or ask some interesting s**t to make it look like a good interview. Now that I’m back on the network maybe I’ll ask to do a reunion show or something. Or maybe I should just interview n***as and post it on….hhmmm. (Y’all noticed how I tried to sneak myself back in the game right quick?)

Lastly, no I don’t have a Dannon Frusion Smoothie in my pocket! Next n***a ask me that gonna catch an a** whoopin’! Fa’real. For those who don’t know what I am talking about, I am the guy from the Dannon Frusion commercial asking people to trade in their breakfast for a Dannon Frusion Smoothie. When I first came to Hollywood four years ago the only agent I could get was a commercial agent and so I did a lot of commercials. I did about thirty spots over a three-year span. The money was great and it kept my face out there. However, one of the unforeseen side effects is that Black folks everywhere saw that commercial and thought that I was the new spokesperson for Dannon! So everywhere I go there is always one person askin’ me if I got a Dannon Frusion in my pocket. It’s usually the same one who thought my name was Joe Torry. “Oh s**t, there go Joe Torry! Ay Joe Torry, can a n***a get a smoovie?”(LOL)

Maybe I shouldn’t be complaining, lamenting or bitching about my situation. Although I get called the wrong name and I am constantly reminded that I lost my favorite job I should be happy my Black ass is recognized at all. I could be like the guy reading this who is doing something he hates for the next forty years of his life to take care of his family. Instead I get to do what I want and make money at it. I don’t have groupies, but I do get love from the sisters. I travel around the country and meet interesting people. When I look at it that way I pat myself on the back and say “You have a good life Joe Torry.” Yeah, I have a good life. I love being me. I think I’ll end here and go and have a smoothie.

Peace. I’ll Holla at y’all next time.