Preface: Before the hate comes, please take the time to read this full post and then bash me. I have some real honest views with real life experience to back my claims.
There is a phrase that reads, "The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence."
I happen to like this one, The grass is always greener of the septic tank. The latter is from a book from Erma Bombeck and it is completely unrelated to the topic at hand.
Bombeck is an American novelist and very intelligent women that was (and still is) well respected.
She is an anomaly based on the women I see these days.
All this got me started when I read a post from this chick that calls herself The Single Girl. This person is my enemy, because shes polluting the world. I dont use the B-Word, but she wrote in an online dissertation the following: Fellas, if you have used this argument: Im a good dude; problem is chicks dont want a good man. Chances are you have convinced yourself that GOOD is a nice way of saying what you really are-WEAK.
G.T.F.O.H.I thought the age of Obama destroyed the myth of the good man as weak.
Here is what women do. They tell themselves that a good man = a weak man. Then, they go an get a thug, because that is how they define a real man (men do this too, pause). Then, they either 1) try to convert the thug into a good guy of some sort or 2) cry domestic abuse when her animal man beats or cheats on her.
Or, they may have been reared from a young age to desire the white picket fence, dog and 2.5 kids and get a dude that can give them the Middle Class along with the green grass. Suddenly, after a few years, they decide thats not good enough and start looking over the white fence into somebody elses yard. Now, the Jones (or the Combs) grass looks greener or the grass on TV is greener or the grass depicted in a racy novel.
Women seem to innately and naively take the most romantic movie, TV show or film and then think its supposed to translate into reality. Like, how can a guy compete with, You complete me, as once said by Tom Cruise? I mean, I would love to fly around the stars shooting up aliens like Luke Skywalker, but you dont see me trying just because Ive seen Star War a few times. Some mess just isnt realistic.
When its all wrong, women think they are the star in a real-life Terri McMillan book, or worse, a Mary J. Blige song like No More Drama.
If you get a good dude, why consider him weak? Or if you have a good dude, why discard him instead of trying to work with him?
See, believe it or not, a lot of men grasp this concept. Its called Its Cheaper To Keep Her. I know that sounds crude, but for me and the other good dudes that takes on a few meanings. One such meaning is that its just easier to work things out if you have good women down with you than going out and weeding through a bunch of coal looking for a diamond. Some dudes like coal I dont.
When you are already invested time and years into a relationship, are you going to toss that? Sure, people do it, but Im talking about the guys that I know who are going through pure hell, because they didnt take the trash out. YET, the house is a mess and your lady is on Twitter? Really?
Best believe that if you are in an extended relationship, that person you meet in the beginning is going to be a different creature after 5 years. Furthermore, the world is going to change. In my opinion, quite a lot about men remains consistent (eats, sleep, work, die), but women change more with the times, more with the world.
They also do a lot more self-analysis. Well, thats cool, but all the external stimuli (Oprah, counseling, girlfriends, books) leaves little room for ones own thoughts.
Get your mind right and lets stay together.
PS: Steve Harvey needs to have his manhood pass revoked for that book he wrote. Preying on desperate women like that for a check. SMH.
For your viewing pleasure:
Even Tom Cruise Can Lose It, Babe!
Way More Drama
Good Guy aka EveryMan is a columnist on AllHipHop.com and his columns appear every Thursday or when he sends them over. Of course his views are not necessarily that of AllHipHop.com.