How To Act: “Black Panther Movie Rules of Engagement”
What’s up Super Friends?!!
I know you are probably thinking “Why is he writing about the Black Panther...isn’t he a DJ?”. Yes it is but I’m no ordinary DJ you mere mortals. I am NYC resident Superhero DJ, Jon Quick, of WBLS 107.5 (check me out on the Mix at Six w/Deja Vu - my first shameless plug) so I get to also write about all things having to do with superheroes, especially the ones who look like me, if I choose to do so. What’s about to happen on February 16 will be a paradigm shift of comic book movie culture! With that being said we, the black superhero fan base, need to make sure that our novice brothers and sisters follow a certain code of conduct in regards to the Black Panther Movie release! Please adhere to the following “Rules of Engagement” and I promise we, as a community, will enjoy one of the most glorious days of our existence!
BLACK PANTHER MOVIE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT
1. Shut the hell up black people. I TRULY LOVE my brothers and sisters but this ain’t the film for your ass to be showing
out with Cousin JuJu and ‘em! We don’t want you making jokes at the screen and/or trying to give the on screen characters life advice and what not. Be on your best behavior. We’re tryin’ to make history damn it!
2. Please read up on the characters before you come to the theater. I don’t want you asking me jack once the movie starts! And don’t you even breathe funny when the Queen Angela Bassett is on the screen. That’s true royalty right there!
3. Dress appropriately. Meaning cosplay characters from the film, African traditional garb, Black Panther tees or at the VERY LEAST ALL BLACK EVERYTHING. No room for lukewarm enthusiasm. I’m sure most of you already have your outfits picked out, which makes me happy. We’d rather you stay home if you can’t abide.
4. Closing credits are a must view! For those of you who’ve never been to a Marvel film, do NOT move until AFTER the final credits. You can thank me later.
5. Go see it OPENING WEEK.
And see it more than once. Very, very important. Again, we trying to make history! If you reside in NYC, you can actually join me and my fellow honorary Wakandans at this Red Carpet event at Magic Johnson Theater in Harlem. Afterparty at Corner Social! (shameless plug but so what). https://www.facebook.com/events/536073276757458/?notif_t=plan_user_associated¬if_id=1515619707886198
6. This is NOT the cinema event to arrive on CP time!! Listen I’m not letting you in my row once the movie starts. Don’t play
yourself. The last thing I want to see is a close up of your pelvic area when I’m trying to see the Dora Milaje kick some butt!! Come late and you’ll just have to wait until intermission. (Hint: there is no intermission). Hell at my red carpet premiere event I may just hire bouncers and place them at the entry points of the theater.
7. Support the Marvel Black Panther comic book family before and after the movie.
There are plenty of them on the shelves. Black Panther, Rise of the Black Panther, World of Wakanda etc. Share them with your children. They need to see positive and powerful black characters. Remember- #BlackHeroesMatter
8. (From my Omega frat bruh Mr. Kevin Epps) Get ALL your snacks, drinks, bathroom visits, and “I’m here” calls & texts out of the way BEFORE the lights go down for the preview trailers! Don’t drink too much before the show. We may go NYC club style and say all exits are final so you may have to hold that urge to pee until the final credits!
9. Hire a damn babysitter!
DO NOT BRING CRYING, LOUD ASS INFANTS to the show. I know we are supposed to teach them young but those little boogers will have no idea what the hell ia going on! Leave them with grandma, grandpa or your favorite auntie! I beg of you! 🙏🏿
10. Squeal and scream on Black Panther bootleggers!
If your local bootlegger decides they want to sell this movie please report his ass to the cops and ask he be detained in the most pissy smelling, bed bug infested jail cell for the duration of the weekend. Bootleggers don’t get your black card revoked. Non black bootleggers you WILL have your hood pass REVOKED forever! Seriously.
SPECIAL ADDENDUM: For those of you who have that bad ass credit and therefore cannot pay for tickets online like everybody else in the 21st century normally does PLEASE CHECK YOUR TICKET STUBS as soon as you receive them from the cashier. You have to make sure they gave you the RIGHT TICKETS. We don’t need “Insidious Part 10” going No. 1 at the box office that week by accident!
SPECIAL ADDENDUM 2:
It’s HIGHLY RECOMMMENDED that you learn the lyrics to the first stanza of “Lift Every Voice”. We may be singing that before the previews go on at theaters on opening night. You’ve been warned.
FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY RULE I MAY HAVE OVERLOOKED. SEE YOU AT THE THEATER!