The Recession Diet: How To Make To Through The Lean Times

AllHipHop Staff

Fact is the recession is the cornerstone of everything we are here in America at this moment. The economic crisis likely gave Barack Obama that last minute edge he needed to decisively win the United States presidential election. Young Jeezy benefited by naming his album after it. All of the news networks have scared the mess out of us by talking about this calamity for the last year or so nonstop. With the recession being all the rage, it is full time to make the apocalypse work for you! Enter: the Recession Diet.

America needs avoid sulking about how bad things are and focus on the positive sides of life, however scarce they may appear to be. Being scared and worrying uncontrollably will do absolutely nothing for you. I, illseed, have determined that I will lose mad weight until this recession is over. Here is how I plan to do it. (Note: this “diet” has no medical validity or otherwise, but it is something I am implementing right now. Take it as entertainment and opinion.)

1) I will not eat unless absolutely necessary. Not eating doesn't mean you will immediately lose weight. In fact, you might gain - initially. But, after a while, your body will have gnawed away at its own fat in such a way that you lose a lot of pounds. An alternative is to eat so you are in a constant state of hunger.

This is going to hurt a bit, because your stomach is going to constrict in ways you didn't think possible. The remedy is plenty of water, fruit and veggies from you local super market. Those will give you a healthy alternative to all the hormone-injected meats we typically consume.

When you need more: add hot sauce to anything that’s not sweet. It makes anything taste “flavory.”

2) Moving along, during this recessionary period it is going to be a mental strain to exercise physically. Notice I said mental strain…When you exercise, you are typically in a zone with nothing but your thoughts. When you are only with your thoughts, you think about the guy that just killed his family of six over his money woes. “No bueno.” Exercise and working out is really a mental activity that uses your body to achieve a goal. What happens when you can’t quite get over that mental hurdle?

You supplement your diet is the "Every Day I'm Hustling" exercise regiment (Shout out to Rick Ross!). This work out regiment involves chasing checks, going on job interviews at a relentless rate or networking every night possible. What this running out does is twofold. First, it allows you to keep your mind proactive, but it also keeps your body moving as well. Your body is actually burning a lot of calories as it runs around the streets in search of opportunity.

3) The final aspect of the Recession Diet is the inevitable: STRESS.

From the rich to the poor, stress is going to be a foe that you must make a friend. You must allow stress to take its course on your body, but you have to manage it carefully. So, as the stress goes to work, you will begin to lose weight fast, but if you succumb to it, you will lose an unhealthy amount of pounds. America is already a nation of overweight people, but that can all change in these truly lean times. Don’t listen to me, because you should listen to you doctor. This is just one way of coping with the times that has actually worked for this person.

"The Recession Diet"

1) Don't eat until you must.

2) Exercise by running the streets.

3) Embrace stress