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DEAR EMINEM

I would like to let you know that you promised to give me 2 million dollars after I totally have supported your career since the very beginning. You signed a promissory note in about 2008. Just wanted to get that money asap. THANKS!

- illseed

EMINEM’S SUFFERS MASS MEMORY LOSS?

Apparently, Eminem now suffers from massive memory loss because he has been fighting a 5 year battle with prescription drugs. He cannot recall many key moments in his career, like him owing me money. I forgive you, Em, but fork that cake over!

Eminem told Rolling Stone: “A lot of my memory is gone. I don’t know if you’ve ever taken Ambien, but it’s kind of a memory-eraser. That s**t wiped out five years of my life. People will tell me stories, and it’s like, ‘I did that?’ I saw myself doing this thing on BET (TV network) recently, and I was like, ‘When was that?’”

He and Wayne are on the cover of GQ. GQ sure is changing. It stands for “Gentlemen’s Quarterly.” Hmph.