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Hip-Hop Rumors: Jay Z Dead? WHAT THE?!?


Jay Z Dead? Mannnnnnnn….my heart straight up stopped for a second! Somebody emailed me this article that suggested that Jay Z was straight up DEAD. And I was scared! Jay Z is one of the best that ever did it and for him to pass is like if Jordan died for fans of that man. ANYWAY, it was all a satirical, critical look at Jay Z. Basically the article that was written seemed to suggest that Jay Z’s “soul” has died – but he’s still alive. They are suggesting that the outer shell is alive, but the soul is dead. Conversely, they say Biggie’s body is dead, but his soul lives on. I don’t think the commentary is so valid, but it definitely got everybody’s heart pumping. Oh, the site crashed from all the people thinking it was real. They should have prepared for the traffic. Yo…at the end there is a mean-spirited little quip about Blue Ivy. Out of bounds, man. Gotta be careful about what we speak…especially as it relates to death.

BROOKLYN – The world mourns today as Shawn Carter, AKA Jay Z, was found dead inside at the young age of 43.
While the official cause of death is still being investigated by Rap Genius editors and urban studies Ph.D.s, many have speculated that Jay Z killed himself inside.

“One minute he was doing great, producing lyrical dynamite full of incisive social commentary and witticisms,” remembers Christopher Wallace, AKA The Notorious B.I.G, whose soul remains alive despite his death in 1997.

“The next, he was an empty suit, laying face-down in a puddle of champagne and corporate sponsorships.”
“Picasso Brooklyn Nets Rothko Barclays Bugatti Samsung,” said Jay Z in catatonia above a snare drum and Justin Timberlake accompaniment. “MoMA MoMA Upper West Side.”

Carter was born December 4, 1969 in Brooklyn, which has also lost its unique soul and sound. The borough is survived by low-rise condominiums, secondhand plaid shirt retailers, and beards.

Jay Z is survived by his wife Beyoncé Knowles and his daughter Blue Ivy, who will never have the opportunity to live a fulfilling and invigorating life of successful crack dealing and will ultimately end up majoring in English at NYU before dying inside at 21.

A funeral will be held at the Barclays Center next week. Jay Z will perform tracks off Magna Carta Holy Grail from his open casket, which is sponsored by Samsung.


[Source]

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  • That shit aint cute…idk wtf this trend is lately where these sites keep jumping up and saying people are dead…for like the last 5 years theyve been doing that and it really needs to stop, these ppl have families out here.

    • Dead Mosby

      Attention seekers, nothing more.

      • Yeah only thing i can think of is they’re getting website hits but its wrong man, theyre has to be some sort of limits, i just thought about when they said lil wayne died, that man has a momma and a daughter and other kids not even about his fans…that shit too far…and even this they talkin bout he’s survived by a wife and daughter…someone should
        Lose theyre job about this one.

      • Dead Mosby

        Sadly, there are no boundaries when it comes to the heartlessness of much of the human race. You can dislike an artist.. frankly I am not big fan of Lil’ Wayne but to publish disgusting negativity like that is just bad karma.

      • Yeah for me its about him as a human being, not even a artist…if ppl listen to what Kanye is sayin vs how he says it he makes alot of sense…he’s sayin they just look for disrespectful stuff to say to him to get a reaction and sue…idk where we went wrong in this world in the last 10 years, like u said its straight heartlessness now

      • Dead Mosby

        We become more and more desensitized, and personally I’d like to place most of the blame on the media of this country condemning sex, an act of love, and glorying violence. This country tends to have ass backward ideologies.

      • I agree

      • FRUKOH

        agree except it dont condemn sex, it promotes it too

      • Dead Mosby

        Explain to me how footage and photographs of violent scenes, and shows depicting horrific gore and allowed on basic cable yet a nipple is exposed and there is public outcry?

      • FRUKOH

        yeh from that angle i agree but when you say media i think internet more as more ppl on there than watching cable nowadays.

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  • Dubz

    I seriously don’t understand the hate for Jay-Z.

    • Dead Mosby

      Jealousy.

    • Its completely unwarranted…and ppl keep screamin this illuminati bs…We’ve watched Jay Z create hit after hit, most of his work was documented on video, he became the biggest star because he made great music, we saw his growth and his success and because he became as successful as we wanted him to be and supported him to be now all of a sudden he worships the devil…ppl are full of it

      • donaldopeoples

        Music? What does he play besides the cash register?

      • Huh? What are u talking about dude?

      • FRUKOH

        nah he aint illuminati and he dont worship the devil, he worships himself and money

      • Care to elaborate…or is it just another bias opinion thrown out there because u think it sounds cool or somethin?

      • johnblacksad

        “in god we trust”

        I read that somewhere…

    • Casor_G

      The fact he would post this bs is corny

    • Sean Power

      people just don’t like see success

    • FRUKOH

      nigga over the hill for 1, for 2 he a snake, for 3 he dont put out fire like back in the day

    • johnblacksad

      seriously? don’t you know these niggaz just love to hate… especially on another successful nigga?!

  • Sean Power

    why would you post this B.S ? leave this for conspiracy blogs

  • 86Jordan

    BS, Called his soul dead figuratively, yet gave no reasons to why is soul is dead other than corporate sponsorships. Doesn’t explain why corporate sponsorships makes his soul dead. This wouldn’t pass the BS test in a 8th grade class let alone be any creditable writing. Whatever…

    • Nemesis_Enforcer

      Agreed. Crabs in a barrel with blog sites.

  • just_some_bastard #ALCOHOLIC

    AHH has been ran into the ground.

  • mponjoli malakasuka

    thats cold out bounds guys

  • Lady B Tru-records

    this is in reference to him moving forward with barney’s dept store after barney’s have racially profiled 2 black people that made large purchases recently. They wanted Jay Z to pull out of the deal with Barney’s to market his products through them. He didn’t , he moved forward with at least one of his products. So they are saying he’s dead inside for not pulling out of the deal. Not stating my opinion, only breaking down what’s behind this article

  • dranter128

    The more jay z albums that get sold, the more confirmation I get that this generation of ours has really dumbed down since the 1900s. Comparing jay z to jordan is a preposterous joke. Whoever thinks that this guy shows any inkling of talent should seriously consider getting their head checked out.

    • johnblacksad

      Yeah, he went from Marcy to $500 million without any talent at all… smh

      you hatin motherfcukers are a joke for real!
      Bill Russell might have more rings than #23, Wilt might have scored more than 69 in one game but in the end, Hov is the Mike Jordan of this rap sh!t… regardless of how you haters feel about it!

  • Immortal

    Jay Z Dead? Mannnnnnnn….my heart straight up stopped for a second! Somebody emailed me this article that suggested that Jay Z was straight up DEAD. And I was scared!….Jay Z Stan all the way. As soon as I saw this I stopped reading.

  • FRUKOH

    all that money n nigga still look like a camel, money clearly cant buy everything.

    • 313Hiphophead

      But ur hiding your identifty…u lil faggit

      • FRUKOH

        Lmao does it burn you that much that your idol is fugly?!

    • johnblacksad

      worried about another man’s look… just come out the closet already… no homo on my end

      • FRUKOH

        i aint worried but clearly you are worried about defending your idol. In real life i’d beat your black ass sad for real for telling me to come out the closet , the only faggit round here is you and the only skeleton that would end up in my closet is yours after I KILLED your monkey ass, noW go bump some CAMEL TOE FAGGIT!

      • johnblacksad

        that was a pretty long post for someone that ain’t worried

      • FRUKOH

        ” a real man shouldn’t have to say no homo” Jadakiss.

        FAGGIT!

      • FRUKOH

        ” a real man shouldn’t have to say no homo” Jadakiss.

  • donaldopeoples

    All I see is a clown with a cigar. Hip Hop is gettin’ to be like SNL rock and roll. All show and no go.

    • richard_b_hard

      More like WWE all these niggas missing are the tights and the ring.

      • RapItUp

        No, they got the tights..

  • donaldopeoples

    Maybe he didn’t sell out, cause he didn’t have nothin’ to sell to begin with.

  • Ike’s Mood

    thats how i felt after listenin to hcmg

    • Arth Monroe aka DJ ARTH

      HCMG? Is that a new album?

      • Ike’s Mood

        its the reefer dawg…

      • RapItUp

        LOL

    • Jonathan Cephas

      What the heck is HCMG? Holy Carta Magna Grail? Lol

  • Got scared for a minute, couldn’t image Hip Hop with out Jay Z.

    • Inmadopicouroz✓QUEENSᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

      is ur head game vicious?

      • johnblacksad

        You prolly tryin to take lessons too witcha homo azz!

        “used to be the strongest hood, but weak niggaz they kill it, so they say : the bridge is over! the bridge is over”

      • Inmadopicouroz✓QUEENSᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ

        QUEENS NICCAS GOT U SHOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • brotha_man

    Supreme Architect: Jay-z did what?
    Devil: he sold me his soul
    Supreme Architect:All I got was a $30,000 watch (est. Value $150.00)!…. that brother is dead to me

  • dee

    jayz fans will never see him as a snake or what he did to dame and biggs was wrong and these the niggas he came in the game with, this barney shit he didnt stop his product even if his people being profiled but yall see no wrong in this guy its like because hes successful he has no wrong

    • Perico777

      Jay did that once dame brought cam into the roc he had his personal reasons

    • Tre C

      i agree with you on the barney shit, but we gonna tell the story like Dame was innocent in all of their drama?

      • dee

        its about being loyal to your crew or was about

      • Tre C

        all the people Dame brought to Roc A Fella wasn’t Jay’s crew. Is that loyal? Making Cam President, while your business partner & friend is on vacation. Is that loyal?

    • Raheem Classick

      What did Jay do to dame and biggs ? It has to be facts, Not anything somebody told you or something you heard.

      • dee

        i know you havent been living under a rock for 10 years , i know you heard everybody story from cam to beanie, we know he turned his back on them… why you think he never talks about it? cmon now wake up

      • Raheem Classick

        All the people you named have no credibility, I’m talking about Dame Dash, Peedi Crack, Beans, And even Dehaven, Cam just don’t like Jay, So every chance he gets he throw shots, And also rides for his buddy Dame, So once again, Where is the facts.

      • dee

        no credibility? they was in the fold of it

  • Perico777

    Jay a living legend this story bogus

  • Awww man, I just ordered shirts

  • the writer was obviously joking around and went over a few of yalls blank heads

    offtopic
    everyone who writes for allhiphop comes across like a half-gay douchebag

    why is that mane? this site used to be my shit.

    now its just…i dont even know.
    comment section aint even close to poppin’ breh.
    i aint tryna lace this site with my classic social commentary n shit.
    niggas gotta step it up first.

    • Seriously

      in other news people that say “niggas gotta step it up” while saying social commentary n shit…are delusional to the fact they sound like a stereotype. Stfu I get tired of these ignorant badblack stereotypes running around like they are deep or something. If you going to be pompous(google it) at least use proper english an no racial slurs.

      • Celz

        Nigga isn’t a racial slur anymore than Honky Tonk Music is one..

      • ^^your opinion on anything i do matters none.

        dont waste your time. i dont care about anything you have to say & i’m going to do and say whatever i want to do or say.

        nice try little buddy, but no dice.
        worry about your own little douchebag life.

        anyone who tells someone to use proper english on the internet needs to eat a cockroach and die, IMHO… youre the type of loser that responds to tell people to put apostrophes in sentences lmao

        search out some vagina and start enjoying life, my child

  • johnblacksad

    “The Inside Man” huh?! So even illseed knows this article is sooooo shitty he just couldn’t sign it…

    hmm… shows you’re not completely stupid, but what a lack of balls tho! smh…

    movin on…

  • Wavpin

    fuckery

  • Golgo 13

    sum wack article

  • $31339281

    he must not have gave them a handout…..blew them off b4 they got opportunity to work for whoever published this crap

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  • David Gonz

    WELL PAC KILLED HIM ON WAX THO

    • johnblacksad

      Well, that’s funny because Pac is actually dead tho

      • David Gonz

        AND HE STILL RELEASES BETTER MUSIC THAN NYC

  • Patrick M

    You people would not know satire if blog comment boards were the bastion of prolific social commentary. I don’t believe the writer wrote this satirical article as news. However, I can’t say that Jay Z made the wrong move regarding his deal with Barney’s. He’s showing people that you have to weight all options in the pursuit of financial dominance. You can’t make rash decisions. He’s a business, man!

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  • Carla Born Granger Allison

    Man stop this madness. This broad is sick in the brain. The name she trying to make for herself is killing her craziness.