solange and jay z mama said KO

Women Hitting Men: What’s Really Good?

Oh no! Scandal has been brought to the feet of Hip-Hop’s first family.

I am, of course, speaking of Jay Z’s elevator incident with Solange as Beyoncé looked on. Damn! Jay and Beyoncé maintain an image with no overt relationship flaws and had the world abuzz a few short years ago with the birth of Blue Ivy. No family is perfect, but no one expected a family driven controversy like this to come out for all of the world to see via video. It’s simply bizarre. The hilarious memes, which I admit to laughing out loud to, have flooded the net and so have the comments. Some of the sentiments of the situation are what made me write this piece about violence amongst the sexes.

Much of what I was seeing online reminded me of an unspoken double standard that it is OK for women to hit men in order to vent their frustrations. This double standard empowers some women to feel that if they attack a man they are totally safe from retaliation. In this case, I thank Jay for proving that double standard does exist and maintaining his composure without physical retribution. I would have done the same. I do not know what sparked this incident and will not speculate amongst all of the rumors. However, unless JAY Z put his hands on Solange, her child, or Beyonce I personally do not see Solange’s actions as being justified. Even if Jay called her a… (you just go ahead and add whatever vicious comment you want about Solange).

I posted my sentiments on the topic on Facebook and a female friend of mine posted the now deleted comment:

“You know, I think it’s funny because I remember back in the day when he rapped about using women for just one thing. And always essentially, being in control. He got seriously served by a woman. Let other rappers who want to constantly rap about “b***hes” take notes. And I am wondering about what folks at Marcy Projects are saying. But of course, violence is inexcusable, regardless.”

I read that and was like WTF?! This came from an educated woman that I respect and graduated from NYU. The non-violent closing does nothing to salve the pro-violent sentiment that Jay and other rappers are fair game to be attacked by women because of misogynistic rhymes or whatever reason. According to that logic an actor who plays a killer in a film deserves to be executed and the cops should be after Rick Ross for the tons of drugs he has sold within his songs. Speaking of Rick Ross, if the door swings both ways, he would have been justified to attack Kreayshawn at the MTV awards for all of the smack she spoke about him. That logic is just preposterous and not my focus. I posted the quote because it embodies the spirit of other comments that support the double standard that it is acceptable for women to attack men without just cause.

Then there is this statement “And I am wondering about what folks at Marcy Projects are saying.” The way I see it, those words inadvertently reflect the comments that Jay is less of a man for not attacking Solange. According to that logic Jay-Z’s beating of his sister in law’s ass, not his credibility as an artist or acumen as a businessman, is what would have galvanized his standing as a man. Really?!  Need I say more about that?

On the flip side let me play devil’s advocate and say Solange had a great reason for attacking Jay-Z. Still, Jay-Z’s life was not in danger and Solange was not armed so he did exactly what he should have and I salute him for it. Actually, while I am at it, I guess I should also salute Charles Hamilton for not attacking his female rhyme battle opponent who struck him on camera. That was the punch heard across the net and to this day I wish Charles Hamilton had not put that video out. He was not respected for showing restraint. Instead, he was penalized and ridiculed in a manner that seriously damaged his career.

Jay Z did not need this blemish on his white Tom Ford dinner jacket but I am sure he, unlike Charles Hamilton, will endure as if nothing happened.

Troy CLE is the author of Marvelous World book series  (Simon & Schuster / Random House Listening Library Audio) along with being the creator of Marvelous World University. He is a graduate of New York University (BA American Literature and English, MS Digital Design) and a highly experienced lecturer who has spoken Harvard, UCLA, Colorado College and many other well know and respected institutions.

Twitter: @troycle
Instagram: Troy_CLE

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Art by Isis Kenney

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  • TruthSerum

    He should have hit her back, if your man enough to throw one your man enough to catch one….. But of course society would never have allowed that, doesnt matter if she had broke his nose, shattered his jaw, whatever, soon as he defended himself he would have been crucified for it……. That’s the world we live

    Works the same way in all domestic violence situations, some female could try and kill you and if you leave a mark on her pushing her off you your looking at prison bars…… Yet, if you try and call the cops on her, society mocks you to no end.

    • i’mreloaded!

      I feel ya, but when you’re in a position like Jay the best thing to do is nothing. He is a corporation all by himself and risking his status over some bull$hit ain’t the move. Plus it would change the whole dynamic of his relationship with his wife and da nigga has a daughter. So hittin her is pretty much sayin a nigga can put hands on his daughter down the line. But believe he prolly told dat bish dat was your only free one, don’t get it twisted cuz I am from Brooklyn and I will have a bish buck fifty yo azz.

    • ATGreat

      We now live in a world where women rules. They are the ones that dominate, mentally and physically, we are the lames. This is all the fault of the system and the b*tch ass niggas who love to take shit. But me personally would make her chill then give her a HARD slap so she will never do it again. I mean if you don’t like me, stay away from me, but imma be me.

      • heavyboy

        “We now live in a world where women rules. They are the ones that dominate, mentally and physically, we are the lames.”

        Women rule? Where? I gotta call you on that because there are many parts of the world where women have almost no rights. And you say they dominate mentally AND physically? I need that explained to me.

      • ATGreat

        Yeah, because most men gets timid when a woman gets angry, even in the situations they are wrong. So in these societies you can say women rule and have more “rights”. And this happens in country where there is freedom, where people can live how they want. If it keeps going this way in 20 years there will be mostly women presidents.

      • heavyboy

        I appreciate the way you’re trying to articulate yourself but they don’t run the world bruh…. men do. That’s because of a mans testosterone….. which makes them/us more aggressive. We are born fighters, and the women are who we protect. So in order for women to rule the world, they would have to be able to protect us men… which they aren’t made to do. And as far as saying “most men” get timid when being conflicted by a woman, I’m not sure about that statistic but if it’s anywhere near being true it’s only because men know the ramifications of retaliating against them……. not because they(men), are afraid of being hurt.

      • ATGreat

        I understand, but then we have to psysically abusively intentionally attack them when they try to get scary or dominant, like they do in violent countries, but most time women are smarter or sneakier than men to win or something. And these days you can see a lot of videos of a woman beating up a man, because they have developed a sense of security that made them more vicious and powerful than some men. My conclusion is we got to watch out for the femenist women, because they are getting too comfortable.

  • The Legendary Troll

    its simple, if you swing like a man be prepared to take a punch like one

    • Mr. Cohaagen

      Do you not see how nonsensical that statement is?

      • EniggaMA

        nah enlighten us

      • Mr. Cohaagen

        The statement is a contradiction. How can a woman swing like a man? And we’re not talking about some trained MMA fighter. It seems like you guys want to justify hitting frail women like Solange. A punch from her is equivalent to a slap from a man, yet some of you would fall back to this awful excuse for punching her lights out.

      • $42709766

        Its not about the force of the punch its about the lack of respect and taking advantage of a double standard.

      • Mr. Cohaagen

        Man, women have enough discrimination to fight through in this world, they shouldn’t feel proud of some warped sense of equality men feel in actually treating them equally when it comes to physicality.

      • EniggaMA

        So women just get free passes to hit men anytime they get upset with no repercussions? Fam FOH

      • Mr. Cohaagen

        I feel sorry for a man that only knows how to subdue a woman with blows.

      • EniggaMA

        And your opinion of me means nothing to me so now what? You want to go to the extreme to make yourself seem right. I never said beat the dog shit out of her. He was well within his right to stiff her one good time. Besides who made up these rules
        You hit me you gettin hit back point blank period.

      • Mr. Cohaagen

        What’s the difference between one good punch and three? One punch is good enough but two is extreme? That’s one of the ways women beaters people justify their actions, bro (not saying you are one). There is no official document for ethics, it’s just the values you pick up from living, reading, and learning.

      • EniggaMA

        So because i handle things differently makes me wrong? Nope. Just like to you your way is right and I can’t tell you that you are. Who cares about ethics. Nobody should put their hands on anybody period. Your way of thinking is why females think they can do that.

      • Mr. Cohaagen

        Obviously no one should put their hands on anyone with the intention to do harm. That’s not the point. The point is it’s inevitable given human nature that people will fight and women are at a distinct disadvantage in that regard. We shouldn’t exploit that advantage simply because a woman gets mad and starts throwing wild punches. I’ll ask you this; if a dude beats down your mom or sister because she punched him first are you going to say she got what she deserved? If so, I guess we can agree to disagree.

        And reasoning, and by extension, ethics are what separates us from the other species of the world. Yeah, that’s kinda important.

      • EniggaMA

        Ethics mean nothing fam. U just live by your caring what other people think laws and having crazy females running up on you for nothing while you be a “man”. And I’ll live by u put ur hands on me expect a whatever mood I’m in reaction.

      • Mr. Cohaagen

        Agree to disagree then. It’s all good.

      • EniggaMA


      • Andy

        Damn man you’re beginning to sound reminiscent of those white, religous, right-wing Americans who think they need to “discipline” a girl.

        I don’t respect any man who lays hands on a girl, unless it is a dangerous situation and they absolutely must. But you can’t handle one little hit from someone much weaker than you? GTFO man.

  • i’mreloaded!

    Sure, there’s nothing wrong wit a female hittin a male, just as long as they’re prepared for da possible azz whoopin dat follows. Then it’s time for da make-up fuccin, black eye and all.

  • The Black Fist

    HOLD UP! Jay-Z and Beyonce showed class.

    Plus Jay was like ” You wanna squab, I’m too rich to fight”

  • Live Well

    Solange just looked like a spoiled brat socialite throwing a temper tantrum.

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  • RichFromBX

    if she don’t make contact with the face or balls I think it’s fair for a dude to let it go and be the bigger person.

    however, you hit them balls or face and instinct will probably take over – that bitch will be put down like an 18yr old dog with 3 legs and cancer.

  • End of Days

    Do people really think Solange could whoop Jay z if he really wanted to fight? That’s just ludacris…

  • Nic TheDragonslayer

    Damn. Really?! Dudes are okay with hitting a female?! Let your mother, or better yet your daughter, catch a beatdown by some dude. The reason men shouldn’t hit women is because they are stronger. SMFH If this is what real men believe there are very few real men left in the world.

    *What happened to all the Black men with integrity, honor, respect & the belief that Black women should be protected not used as a punching bag?*

    • The Black Fist

      REAL MEN STAND UP! I strongly salute your comment!!
      well put. Men who hit and beat on woman are cowards period.
      Willie D been said it ”If you gotta beat her, you don’t need her”

    • Phibes

      What happened to the women with integrity & class!?! Nobody should be hitting anyone.

      I agree with your point, however allot of these women today don’t act like my mother or your mother did. My mother wouldn’t be caught dead yelling at my father in the street, & my father would never lay a hand on my moms.

      Just because your punch doesn’t physically effect me doesn’t mean I should have to take it.

      What if I was able to take $1.00 out your bank account right now. Would it be ok because that $1.00 loss wouldn’t effect your financial status? Not to mention if the law said, “No harm done,no need to press charges, he can take it”. You would be pissed & rightfully so.

      My point is, just because you can take the hit, doesn’t mean you should be hit.

    • TruthSerum

      My mother would have more self respect than to square up and hit some dude and then expect no repercussions because she was born with something different between her legs


    • jon dubock

      dont want to get knocked out????…lay your hands off of people…quite easy and simple…

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  • The bigger picture here is TMZ, they aired a private conversation with Donald Sterling, now they air a private video of Jay and Beyonce in an elevator…Where is the privacy? TMZ is going too far for ratings…And they have the nerve to air it 10 times a day. TMZ should be banned, it’s becoming a major problem for celebs to go out in public because TMZ always have a hidden camera somewhere, or some minimum waged worker who wants to profit from selling “exclusive” videos and audio.

    • HaterOfTheYear

      elevator cameras are hardly u talkin about

      • You don’t know the facts, the footage that was leaked is a video of a video…..Point is someone took the footage and leaked it to TMZ…Secondly the elevator in the Boom Boom Room is not for public use and most importantly cameras are there for safety not for TMZ to release it to the internet.

      • HaterOfTheYear

        yea but shit happens… the real question wat are u gonna do to change this??

      • I personally will stop watching TMZ…Might not change the world but I do know that it is a show that rely heavily on ratings, and I do believe that one day they will loose ratings as people will soon realize how poisonous that show really is.

      • golder1

        The Hotle that elevator was in does have a confidentiality agree that all the employees signed. So, yes it is suppose to be private.

  • Gonja

    Best blog on this site, ever.

  • The_Good_Life

    This reminds me when my baby moma found out I was creeping with this chick she hated. I caught an unexpected right to my bottom lip. Some minor swelling, a little blood, no biggie. 11 years later she still here..smdh

    • johnblacksad

      I mean… she hated the chick… any other chick, you might have gotten away with some yelling maybe, but a chick she hates on top of that… you kinda had it comin… lol

      props for maintainin tho!

  • bigdoe6

    My mother always told me never hit a female, but if she hits you in the face then you better handle her. That’s my rule. A female can hit me anywhere except my face. This is why i tell females you are better off keeping your hands to yourself. I preach to my younger sister who has a problem of puting her hands on men. I tell her keep her hands to herself.

    • Phibes

      I know what you mean. I have 3 sisters,2 of them sweet as sugar. However, my other sister will fight a man in a heart beat. And she hits harder than some dudes, no joke.She never saw it in the home, so she didn’t get it from our parents, she’s just violent. I love her to death,but she’s off the hook.The crazy thing, if you saw her, you would never think she’s like that… until it’s to late.

    • golder1

      My moms always said if she acts like a man treat her like a man. No woman has the right to put their hands on you just because you are a man and they are a woman.

    • Green Blood

      If a bitch try to hit my face or balls, just know the almighty pimp slap gonna follow..

  • soyhiphop

    I never laid hands on a girl I always try to subdue these creatures. .but you can’t let a chick f you up if self defense is urgently needed you need to scorpion a ho ..get over herrre followed by falcon punch.. you going to jail now(clevelan bus uppercut)..boom! Bang! Wamp! Weave flying in mid air.. kid recording it on his smartphone yelling worldstar..911 hoe down

  • Kweli

    This reminds me of something Dante Nero (The Beige Phillip Show) says. Men respect each other based on the fact that they know if they don’t, they could get punched in the mouth. Women, on the the other hand, don’t respect men because society has given them a pass with this “real men don’t hit women” stuff. Brothas, “get your balls back” and handle these hoes with extreme prejudice.

  • eddieknucks

    I been saying all along, Women, Stop putting your hands on men! Period! Jay z did the right thing because she couldn’t hurt him. What if his security wasn’t there? What about the women who pick up shit to hit you with? I have seen it all. This new age woman knows the law is on their side so they test some brothers. You ever tried to walk away from a sister during a heated argument? She right on your heels while you’re walking away. I have personally witnessed my own nephew walk away from his baby momma and get hit on the head by a 5th of Remy. After that, he gave her a backhand and he went to jail. If a woman hits a man, she is congratulated for standing up for herself and the man is looked at as weak. It makes no sense. No one should put hands on another person. Period.

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  • Some dudes will never hit a woman…but will schlapp the ‘chet out a B’ish!

    • Phatt Killah

      I had a co-worker tell her little brother the EXACT same thing

  • Phatt Killah

    Women who hit men are punks!! They know that the law is on their side and the men are defenseless. That’s whack. That’s like an MMA fighter beating up an old man. I don’t hit women but I pinch DEE SH*T! outta they asses. Don’t sleep. My pinches can draw blood.

  • Mark Lamount Burns

    I remember in the third grade I was my school’s staircase with my class and this girl in my class was being a little too handsy with me. She kept playfully hitting me on my shoulder, but it wasn’t anything painful. Of course I wasn’t responding much. In fact, I was laughing. Anyway, she takes a swing at my face and I caught it just in time by grabbing her wrist and moving it away. The teacher taking us back to the classroom grabs ME and only ME, literally drags me to the principal’s office and I was suspended for 5 days! Nothing happened to her, even though there were witnesses saying that she was the only one hitting me.
    As I grew up, I’ve seen women do some terrible things physically to men and the men didn’t respond with violence. These weren’t some punk, skinny dudes. Many of them were pretty built. Most of the time when these situations would happen, all you would hear was pitiful excuses as to why the women would attack the men and the MEN would be ridiculed for not responding. But I would always hear women screaming about how they can do what men do better and they wanted to be treated equally.
    So to those women that seeks “equality” and yet decides to act like MMA fighters thinking that men are suppose to just sit there and take it, know this: NOT EVERY MAN IS JAY-Z!! SOME OF US HAVE NO PROBLEM FIGHTING YOU LIKE MEN!!(No disrespect to Jay. Kudos on not responding.)

    • Phibes

      Amen Bro…well said!

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  • IceBergSlim

    This is a weak article slim you don’t have anything better to do with your time. They pay you for this BS. we already know Jay did the right thing. so kill it you Trick

  • Guest

    In the words of Ed Lover: C’mon Son! Cowards who abuse women are a by far common and urgent issue.

  • It is this simple. We live in an equal opportunity land now and if a woman can work like a man, drive like a man, buy a home like a man, vote like a man, go to college and be in debt like a man then guess what? If she approaches a man for a fade she will and should get knocked tf out like a man. I understand why Jay didn’t hit her back as it was clear he could have drove that hood rat( he is worth hundreds of millions with sponsors) that would not have looked good even in this double standard land. However, if it were me that hood rat would have went to sleep. My mom told me a long time ago if any hits you hit them back……makes sense right? And it came from a woman foh with these double standards men run the world. Period.

    • men never worry bout bein stalked & raped unless he in jail. it aint equal opportunity. it’s sad men murder & rape women everyday & nobody complains (how many young women have come up missing & their bodies found later) but when a Solange hits Jay-Z men want to cry foul. Ya’ll would die if you had to go thru what we go thru

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  • The Legendary Troll

    females wont get the message until we start knocking them out

    • men have been abusing women for centuries now (murder, rape, brutality), I think we get the “message”.

  • solmon

    If a chic hits me once ill laugh twice i’m warning her, third time i’m on her ass

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  • men have BEEN beating/raping/murdering women for some time now. When is the last time AHH covered that in an article? Black women get beat by police, murdered by vigilantes and oppressed for being Black in white society & then get called b1tches/h0es by the very ppl who are supposed to relate to oppression. Women are triply oppressed via nationality/class/gender so It’s hard to read an article w/ men complaining bout domestic abuse when women are oppressed everyday by men, not just once in awhile in an elevator. Sad to see all the men on the thread reveling in how they would beat a woman down like that make them hard. Or like women have no reason to be pissed at the world of men. Black men understand why they would want to knock a white man out but don’t understand why a woman would feel the same twd men, long as the world of men been treatn us like entertainment/servants/slaves/punching bags/sex receptacles. Just know that the same way you feel toward women who respond to being disrespected w/ frustration/violence, like you would knock them out? There’s a white supremacist waiting somewhere for you to get tired & respond w/ anger so he can come down on you. remember that