DIGITS: The 10 Flyest Villains

America LOVES the villain. From Al Capone to Al Pacino, real life or fantasy, we have always been an outlaw culture from the day we dumped tea into the Boston Harbor.  The best villains are not purely evil, but make you feel for their humanity and recognize parts of yourself within them.

 

With the passing of the great Sho’ Nuff, we have lost one of the truly original and stylistic villains we ever had.  Rather than be somber, we dedicate this piece to Sho’ Nuff.  The 10  Flyest Villains.  Feel free to add more if we missed a couple. .

 

Sho’ Nuff

Was he the baddest?  Was he the prettiest? I don’t know but he was certianly the most ridiculous. The Shogun of Harlem?  Laughable.  But one thing was for certain.  Sho’nuff whupped so much a** that his hands glowed. His crew was wack, but Sho’nuff had the hood on lock down.  Before Jordans came out, he made you kiss the converse.  R.I.P.

 

Darth Vader

Maury show paternity issues?  Check.  Ill voice?  Check.  Dope costume?  Double Check.  He had his own special plane that didnt look like the others and a light saber he used  to chop off his own son’s hand.  How cold?  Ice cold.  And oh yeah, fail him and get choked out while he’s watching you on camera. More force than a room full of Nikes.

 

Satan

The first villain.  Nobody knows what he looks like so they make it up.  People blame everything on him.  More mythical than the “sucka mc”.  He can get you with lies or he can get you with the truth.  Is he a white guy in a business suit, or a bald buy with horns?  No matter what he is, he knows God on a first name basis..even if they don’t hang out no more.

 

Tony Soprano

Everybody knows all the cool villians are fat guys.  Boss Hog. The Kingpin. Tony Soprano was a mob boss with a love for food, a gift of gab, and all the side chicks he could handle.  Never mind the fact it was all driving him crazy.  He had the robe like Ghostface,  The tracksuit like Biggie (Sergio Tachini  bitches), and a crew with more nicknames than Wu-tang.

 

The Joker

Purple was never so menacing.  Gas that makes you laugh until you can’t breath and die. Genuine mania.  Villainy not for money or power, but for the fun of it. The Joker has been making life hard for Gotham City for over 50 years, and actually managed to kill a Robin.  You’d think that Batman would just kill this guy but like Steven Segal, he’s notoriously hard to kill. The clown prince of crime has terror on lock.

 

Destro

Despite the traditional mad scientist stuff, Destro had a chromed out head.  That’s more bling than you could imagine.  Then to take it up another notch, he switched to a gold head.  He took no crap from Cobra Commander, he made weapons you couldn’t believe like the weather dominator…and Cobra still lost every fight. Go figure.  Plus he had the Baroness for that good good.

 

Doctor Doom

Son of a gypsy sorceress whose soul was stolen by the devil.  Diplomatic immunity, and a nuclear powered armor.  Cool, huh? He’s one of the most brilliant minds on earth with the technology and could probably turn your wii to a weapon of mass destruction. Then cast a spell on you to make you push the button.  By the way half the time you see him, it’s not him, but a robot that looks like him, just like half the time you see MF Doom on stage, it’s just a fat guy in a mask and not him. Ouch. Don’t be fooled by the sappy movie portrayal, Doom was the inspiration in part to Vader.

 

Full Force

Whether they were beating up Russel in Krush Groove, or kicking Kid N Play’s f*****n aaassss, the titanic threesome has been handing out beat downs for years.. in the movies that is. They had muscles in the 80’s  when everybody was skinny.  You can’t beat that with a bat. Two words for you…Burning house!

 

Keyser Soze

We didn’t even find out who he was until the end of the movie.  Kevin spacey’s chilling portrayal had a whole cast of people giving testimony about someone they never even saw.  Freestylin gwitness testimony from items in the interrogation room and masquerading as a cripple were just a few of his tricks.  He got game

 

Nino Brown

Harlem’s own Nino Brown.  Nino shot his best friend in the head after he banged his girl out and made him turn to the crack pipe. This was after he poured champagne on the head of his ride or die wife after she couldn’t have kids for him. Shutting the clubs down, using babies for shields, and then snitching in court on the wrong dude all made Nino Brown a sonuvagun with no redemption.  And he never liked you anyway you pretty mother f*****s.  Bonus points for inspiring one of the funniest moments in Martin history

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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