Attack Of The Attention Whores: YouTubing Rapper Slappers

So the goon patrol has gone digital, huh?  Taking

a cue from MC Bin Ladin they have dialed up the world

wide web and taken responsibility for every crime that has occurred in

the last fifty years.  I’m sure sooner or later

some dude holding a .22 and wearing a full face stocking cap in front

of his auntie’s house, mean mugging through the monitor is going to

lead us to Jimmy Hoffa.  As insipid as it is

horrifying, the trend has grown to the point where folks who haven’t

committed a crime more serious than jay-walking want to get on the

bandwagon. I’m sure this isn’t what they had in mind when they invented the internet. 

Chain

snatching, home invading and car jacking masked marauders are tired of

standing in the shadows and behind the bushes not getting their just

due.  Rappers have been taking responsibility for

all sorts of horrendous behavior recently to the sublime delight of

those who actually did it.  I guess the YouTube

bandits can’t rap, but still long to be part of the most recent and

fastest growing Hip-Hop trend since skinny pants.  And we all know the dregs of the Hip-Hop Nation are not about to stuff into some cherry-red nut-huggers.

I thought about this as I surfed YouTube the other night looking for footage of Katt Williams getting slapped up in Detroit.  I

didn’t find any, but what I did find was someone taking responsibility

for slapping Katt Williams up in Detroit. I had seen the picture of the

dude who really did it, so I knew this wasn’t him. His presentation was

more pathetic theater than confession.  However, just the fact that he thought it would be cool to take responsibility for an assault he didn’t commit was troubling.

So what do we do about this?  It’s true that the more the site visitors respond to this nonsense, the more the wave will grow.  Wanting to be part of a respected group, the need to belong is a serious human craving.  It’s within that desire that a choice must be made.  These dudes are simply making the wrong choice.  Will pulling the plug make it go away?  No.  You simply won’t be watching the bad behavior unfold.

For some, infamy is way better than positive fame.  And

in a genre where being notorious is way sweeter than being an

upstanding citizen, I don’t think we could have expected anything

different. You see, this has very little to do with Hip Hop.  We are simply the most obvious recipients.  In

a world where plenty of young men are forced to travel the path to

manhood alone or without a helpful support system, they scratch and

grab at any opportunity to demonstrate their sense of right of passage.  For some that’s getting an education, being a decent father or a law abiding citizen.  For others, it’s robbing, stealing and mugging. Yup; buggin.

Then to take it down yet another notch, every once in a while one of these numbskulls is telling the truth.  Yes, folks have actually been prosecuted with their Myspace page or Youtube account.   So I say let ’em get their digital confessions on.  At the very least it will make for an interesting addition to one of those stupidest criminal shows.

There are a million and one places to point the finger of blame for this; society, parents, the media, the schools, etc.  Is it that serious?  I believe so.  People are massively impressionable whether they wish to admit it or not.  Their

choice to follow the bad behavior, even in their two dimensional

e-lives speaks volumes to their three dimensional lives and how

they choose to live them.  I mean, can you

imagine someone with some common sense and a decent head on their

shoulders wanting to create a theivin’ ass alter ego to garner attention

from a gang of folks they will never meet?  Not I.

So

yes, we could easily roll our eyes and dismiss all these YouTubin’

folks who aren’t really criminals, but just playing one on the internet.  But

then we would probably have to dismiss all of our favorite

snow-blowing, cap-popping, cookie-stealing studio thug monster rappers.  We would also have to shut down all the ISP accounts of the e-thugs who feel the keyboard is mightier than the video.  After we do all that my friends, I’m not sure who will be left.

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