Signs The World Is Coming To An End: The Butt Bra!

The longing for a dope a$$ is getting more and more pertinent for certain sub-sects of American life. The other day I told you about a new herb that’s getting chicks bigger butts. But there is something out for chicks that can’t find exotic herbs and whatever. ITS THE BUTT BRA! You know how a traditional bra lifts breasts and makes them all fluffy? Well that’s what the Butt Bra does for flat butt chicks. It is made by Spanx and I think the actual term is called the Booty Bra. It squeezes everything in a woman’s midsection and pushes it up and out. It only costs $58, so fellas you can get your girl tight if she’s lackin’ in the backin’.

ON SECOND THOUGHT…I don’t think that is going to give her this:

You can’t buy everything.

“They keep us talking, but if we stop talking about them then they should worry!” -illseed.

Illseed, Out.


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  • MrNoName2K

    F*ck a $58..get off your lazy ass, quit dreamin, kick in a few minutes of your time and knock out some good ol fashioned squats(weighted/non-weighted). That will do you flat “back-sided” ladies good..quote the raven

    • brotha_man

      or eat some of big mamas cornbread and greens w/fat back

      • ZUBU

        Bro combine what you said along with what @MrNoName2K said, and any woman will be straight. Stay active, eat good and they will develop a nice juicy ass. That shittt been working since the dawn of time!

      • Truth Powell

        Having an ass is genetics…you can’t “build” one without cosmetic surgery.

      • ZUBU

        Bro I call BS on that bro. I have seen women build ass, you can enhance whatever you’re working with. Look at every female sprinter (100 mtrs, hurdles, etc) they all got hella ass that comes from their method of training. Even the white sprinters have ass, as the brotha above said any woman can develop ass through squatting, lunges, leg curls for the hamstrings and glutes.
        I concur some women naturally/genetically have more ass than others, but you can get an ass without surgery it just takes hard work.

      • brotha_man

        u right on that alittle exercise eating right and it can happen. problem is these broads taking the easy way, gonna f’em in the end (no pun)

      • Truth Powell

        Well I guess it depends on what your definition of ass is. You’re talking bout muscle ass, I’m not into that.
        I’m talking about real Wale “Clappers” video ass. LIke some Dominican mami Puerto Rican day parade type ish.

      • MrNoName2K

        hell yea you can!

  • lol. False advertisement. Need to be warning like the ciggerettes.. No real ass in there lol.

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  • That’s funny as f*** I thought of the booty bra years ago…guess I shoulda went thru wit it…lmao that’s so hilarious man…All a chick need to do is eat, exercise, and get that good ol fashioned ground and pound from the back….instant a** like instant oatmeal…..

  • Judah Nazayar

    i need to order 5 of these for my japanese wife…
    Ai chans azz gonna be banging out in tokyo…

  • “It squeezes everything in a woman’s MIDSECTION and pushes it up and out” wouldn’t that just push her midsection up into her breast?