We’re all looking for our greatest selves. People will tell you not to look for love, and love will find you. Love appears to be occupied with Twitter these days, because many of us are stuck with planning our escapes from hollowed relationships. When the point of no return is reached, some of us are firm enough to be upfront with our significant other. Some of us are waiting for Armageddon, or figuring we’ll have to cause Armageddon to end the flailing relationship. While a majority of us are strapping on parachutes to escape the inevitable crash and burn.
They say that breaking up is hard to do. Are we even trying to break up anymore? People are parachuting out; meaning you already have someone waiting in the wings to divert any inevitable loneliness in the near future. Having our parachute gives us a false sense of liberation. Suddenly, everything you wanted to say to your bored significant other can be spewed with relative ease. Anybody can walk away if they’re escorted. Because that’s what we’re doing when we’re parachuting. We’re walking away.
We can’t introduce ourselves to happier relationships if we fear properly ending our previous ones. If you’re taking a test and leave one of the questions blank, that question would be marked in red ink. The same rule applies when you walk away from a relationship instead of properly ending it. Ask yourself, “Do I parachute out of relationships? Am I a multiple parachuting offender? Do I continue to date the same kind of person because I never addressed the issues of the principal relationship?”
It’s very possible you’re having the worst luck in relationships because at 34 years old, you’re haunted by a principal relationship you had at age 17. It’s not up to you to find the person that broke your heart in High School. However, instead of piling more pain on top that moment, dig for that moment in your mind. Comb through that moment, stand face to face with those emotions and forgive yourself in the areas you should.
If you’d like to know how long you should wait before entering into a new relationship, it’s simple. First, be strong enough to finish what was started. Engage in a concise conversation with your significant other, regarding the reasons why your relationship no longer works for you. A break up is the period to a sentence. Parachuting is a comma. However long it takes for you to emotionally detox after a break up, is how long you should wait; whether 3 months or 3 years.
So in closing, if you’re completely vested in your relationship taking off, you should be even more vest to land the plane before exiting. No more parachuting.
Will “Deshair” Foskey is the co-author of “The Relationship Guidebook” on Amazon Kindle. Change the culture, change the Relationships.
