This Chicago woman is shaking as she recounts a recent experience she had. She says that while in downtown Chicago, grabbing a smoothie, she was harassed by a man who grew more and more intolerant, even after she was nice to him, ultimately resulting in police getting involved.
“Seriously, be careful … and always, like, try to look for an exit plan,” Sid (@lavendermilftea) explains at the end of her video. She urges women to be careful as she shares her frustrations with how everything went down.
‘He Has Me Pressed Up Against a Pole’
Sid says that while walking downtown after getting her smoothie, a man tells her she is beautiful. She says thank you. Sid explains that men say these kinds of things to her all the time, and sometimes she ignores them; other times she says, “Thank you.” She mentions that sometimes you have to gauge your level of safety in the situation before responding, and saying “Thank you” is sometimes the safer bet. However, it seems that no matter what Sid would have said, this man would have caused trouble.
The man, whose name is Donnell, asks Sid for her number. Sid says she told him she has a boyfriend, but Donnell says that they could be “something else” and insists.
“There is a pole behind me, and he has me pressed up against a pole and is refusing to leave me alone. I told him multiple times I have a boyfriend, and he’s not leaving me alone … and at this point, I’m just saying in my head, ‘OK, I’m gonna give him a fake number so then he can leave me alone,'” Sid explains.
The Situation Escalates…
She says Donnell insists that she take his number and text him right then and there. So, she does. Finally, a valet worker at the restaurant Maple & Ash notices the situation escalating and takes pictures of Sid’s and Donnell’s interaction.
Sid says the man starts waving her over, so she pretends to know him and begins to walk over to him. Donnell follows her. Then Sid starts to run, and Donnell starts to chase after her. Sid says she is able to make it to the restaurant, and the employee begins to shield her from Donnell, who is trying to enter. Eventually, several employees are trying to hold Donnell back to protect Sid, and they end up calling the police, she says. She adds that Donnell got away before the police arrived.
“It sucks making this video because it feels like us girls, we’re told to do everything, like, you know, I tried to not agitate him; I tried to be polite because I’m scared. I don’t want to give him an excuse to beat me up. I was wearing, like, a sweat pant, not saying that that matters, because it doesn’t matter to these guys,” Sid says towards the end of her video.
The police did not take a statement from Sid, and she says that, unfortunately, they didn’t do anything to help, despite the fact that she has his name, number, and photographs of the interaction.
The video has amassed over 2.1 million views and 246,500 likes as of this writing.
‘I See This Man Often’
Several folks in the comments section weigh in with their concerns and solutions around staying safe from assault in public.
“LADIES: GET. A. GUN. Or a Bryna at least,” says one comment.
“Byrna’s are completely legal in all states. I highly recommend. Of course be careful of brandishing and using but it is a much safer option!!” another comment says.
“Hearing you say ‘I do everything I’m supposed to’ sunk my heart,” a different person says.
“Never be nice to strangers. Always be careful and be alert,” someone else suggests.
“The way you say ‘I’m sorry’ so many times in this video makes my heart break – you’re so strong & brave for sharing your story. I’m beyond sorry this happened to you,” another kindly says.
One viewer adds, “I live next to maple and ash and I see this man often. I am so so sorry this happened to you.”
A couple of comments mention a Bryna. What is it, and could it have actually been helpful?
Self-Defense Tools: Worth It?
A Bryna is a non-lethal defense weapon. While it is shaped like a gun and can look like the real thing, it’s not meant to kill anyone. Instead of releasing bullets, it releases a small ball that features chemical irritants such as pepper spray and tear gas. Its advantage over pepper spray is its greater projectile. This allows users to stop an attacker from farther away than with pepper spray. Brynas are not legal in all 50 states, so you should take precautions and do some research before investing.
Pepper spray is a more widely legalized option if you’re not ready to or not able to get a Bryna. Sid mentioned that she wishes she had a pepper spray handy for a moment like this. Perhaps having a self-defense tool could have been helpful to Sid in this scenario, especially if there weren’t people around to help.
In an update video, Sid thanks everyone who helped her and includes an image of Donnell to help keep others safe. It turns out, he has been accused of assault several other times.
AllHipHop has reached out to Sid for comment via email and TikTok direct message; the downtown Chicago Police Department via email; and the restaurant Maple & Ash via email as well. This story will be updated if any party responds.
@lavendermilftea Please be careful out there this was genuinely horrifying ❤️ and thank you so much to @Maple & Ash #chicago #chicagotiktok #psa #sos #goldcoast ♬ original sound – sid