joeclair

It’s Joe Clair!: Ignorance is Played Out!

  “Dumb down my delivery and double my dollars”

-Jay-Z

OK. I am officially going on record and waging a war against the ignorant Black man. If you are a dumb ass n***a and you are reading this just know that it is on. On and poppin’ my n***a. We are officially beefin’. I’m sick of these dumb muhf**kas! Watching your stupid ass walk around disgraces our ancestors and undermines our future. You know who you are. If you don’t, let me clarify.

Anyone reading this, I’m sorry; Any Black man reading this who is hatin’ on Barak Obama for being too structured and detailed needs to go kill themselves. This n***a is running for the presidency. F**k you think he gonna be? Unorganized and whimsical n***a? Like he ‘sposed to just go up there and freestyle a speech. F**k outta here with your stupid a**.

I heard one of your multitudes screamin’ that ignorant s**t the other day at the barber shop. “I ain’t votin’ for no muf**kin’ Barak. That n***a act Whiter than a White muhf**kah. N***a sound like my supervisor when he talk!” Apparently he didn’t know that I, along with the members of the SNC (Smart N***a Coalition), had waged war against Black ignorance. Because, had he known he would’ve shut up and stayed quiet instead of running he big dumb ass mouth and receiving a complete bookdown! That’s right not a beat down but a bookdown.

For those that don’t know a bookdown is where members of the SNC throw big ass books at you when you are out in public being a nuisance. Man, y’all should have seen it. I hit that n***a with and unabridged Webster’s dictionary to the dome followed by body shots from a rare oversized printing of “Behold a Pale Horse.” My man Ty hit him several of them big ass African Art coffee table books you see in rich people’s houses. And then, my girl Sharay hit that n***a with hardback copies of a Zora-Neal Hurston anthology and then rapid fired his ass with a bunch of Nikki Giovanni and Maya Angelou collections. That n***a got knocked out cold and when he came to they asked him if he was alright and he said “I know why the caged bird sings!” and fell the f**k back out. Real talk.

I heard a sister the other day spoutin’ some ignorant s**t while she had her son in tow. The sad part about that is that the children don’t know that their mother is dumb. Nobody wants to think that the person responsible for their upbringing is dim witted. But people got to understand that dumb muhf**kas come from dumb ass parents. She was on talking:

“F**k Bill Cosby! F**k Diddy and all ‘dem uppity black muhf**kas! F**k Russell Simmons too. What the f**k I look like following a n***a who do yoga and s**t! Plus don’t nobody like that Phat Farm s**t no way. And Bill Cosby just mad ‘cause he old. This n***a prolly don’t even know how to do the Superman!”

Now while I am not the biggest fan of all of the “get your s**t together” talk that Bill Cosby gets on, I know that it has its place. And since she apparently didn’t have a man in her life (I don’t know that for sure but she looked like one of them women who couldn’t keep a man), and the son looked like he was positive-male-role-model deprived, I felt that she was f**kin’ her son up by shootin’ down black men who actually stand for change in our communities. So I lit that big head b***h up. (don’t trip b***h is appropriate in this instance, I asked Oprah and she said it was okay) She ain’t even see me comin’! I hit that bitch with “A Message to the Blackman” by Elijah Muhammad, the Miles Davis autobiography and a Photoshop 7 manual for good measure. You should have seen it. She got up, dusted herself off and went and applied to DeVry. Real talk.

Now don’t get me confused brother and sisters. This war on ignorance is not just against bad grammar and s**t, ‘cause if it was I’d be fighting myself. No, this war is against bad reasoning. This war is against lack of common sense. This war is against those of us who seem to want to perpetuate the downward spiral we have been in since crack came out. Simply put, we are against those who keep f**kin’ it up for everybody!

Naturally, we have many prominent rappers, singers and athletes in our sights. There are about three dozen radio personalities on our list as well as a long list of black executives and business people that we are planning bookdowns on. Some of our targets won’t receive complete bookdowns but will undergo cultural integration tactics such as being strapped down to a chair and forced to watch “A Birth of a Nation” followed by “Malcolm X” and several Martin Luther King speeches. After that we let Eric Mike Dyson go in there and just talk to they a** for about 23 hours straight. After that they come out some of the most aware, progressive thinking muhf**kas Black America has ever seen. High profile targets are not our priority however. We are targeting some every day people you see in you immediate surroundings. Like the n***a who always f**k up the party, the mother who curses out the teacher when she should be whippin’ the child’s ass and any black woman who goes on the Maury show!

I’ve got to go, but in conclusion I say if you feel me roll wit’cha boy. If you don’t like what I am saying, f**k your dumb ass. It’s 2008 and we live in the most user friendly time on the planet. Your cell phone can be used for more than just sending blurry pictures of your cooch to n***as (not that I’m totally against that). You can actually surf the web with that and gain some knowledge.

All of the resources we need to get ahead are right at our fingertips so if you are stuck on stupid you really are stupid. Stupid!

Peace man, I’ll holla at’chall latuh.

The views (or grammar) expressed inside this editorial aren’t necessarily the views of AllHipHop.com or its employees. Holla, Joe!

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