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The Socialite: Spring Fever… Is Your Love In Jeopardy?

Wow,

do you smell that? No, not the alcoholic perspiration seeping from the pores of

Irishman on St. Patrick’s Day. I’m talking about Spring! Yes, inhale that

newness. Your excuse to act and/or feel “brand new” has finally arrived.

 

For

many of us, Spring is the official start of the New Year. In parts of the

country that aren’t as lucky to be, as T.I. put it, “Down in Miami where it’s warm in the winter” – the climate

begins its shift from the cold, while your utility bill takes a much needed

break on your pockets. The birds are chirping, trees are growing their leaves -

and seasonal relationships are coming to an end.

 

You

read me right. Are you feeling a bit worried about your current connection? You

should… well, if your relationship began during or closely after November ’07.

 

A

seasonal relationship defines itself – the beginning or ending of a connection

that came about due to a new season. Justin Timberlake sang about “Summer Love”

on Futuresex/Lovesound. The lyrics

are based around meeting a pretty face during the Summer. He’s telling

her about the many things they could do together, while assuring the young lady

that their love will go beyond the season. Long story short, he gets the girl and the

song ends. I predict an ill fate for that connection.

 

At

this time, I will set the parameters for a seasonal relationship, walk you

through it and then conclude the adventure with a few warning signs. Let’s

bring our attention to the season between Election Day and St. Patrick’s Day.

 

Election

Day is a warning shot for the winter season to come. It’s our first reminder

that the calendar year is coming to an end, and that we have two major holidays

to stare down; Thanksgiving (with Black Friday as the wild card), followed by

the Christmas season (or the holiday that you choose to celebrate).

Togetherness is promoted/marketed hard during this period.

 

Single

women get all warm and fuzzy around this time. They won’t admit to it, but

there is a lot of pressure that comes with going to a holiday gathering without

someone special by their side. Especially if every woman in her tight-knit crew

has someone to bring. Not wanting to come to the event empty handed, she

decides to kiss her normal standards goodbye in hopes of finding a date that

wouldn’t mind hanging out with perfect strangers for hours on end.

 

I’d

like to introduce you to Candace Carmichael, 27-years-old, an employee on the

New York Stock Exchange and as single as a dollar bill. With Thanksgiving just a

week away, she goes out to a popular social spot with the mission to find a

free agent to lock arms with. Candace naturally loves the thrill of the chase,

however, with time running out and her girls throwing subliminal messages at

her, she becomes the hunter.

 

The

first guy (Darnell) that smiled at her, with straight teeth might I add, she

pursued. They hit it off, mainly because she allowed for it to happen. They got

acquainted, set up another date before Thanksgiving that went well, and then

she asked if he would join her for the holiday.

 

Darnell

was a hit with Candace’s family and friends. By the time the Thanksgiving event

was coming to an end, Candace grew fond of Darnell. Suddenly, this free agent

that never had a chance on his best day is prime real estate. Just a day later,

they were making plans to spend Christmas together. Their second holiday

together was twice as special.

 

They

are now under the trance of the holiday season. And with New Year’s Eve just a

week away, a time when people would normally set personal goals to achieve for

the New Year, it became a collaboration for Candace and Darnell. They are month

into their connection and already planning their future together. Isn’t that

grand?

 

2008

is here, so unless they plan on spending Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday

marching on Washington, January is nothing more than a set-up month. All eyes

are on February, and its togetherness holiday, Valentine’s Day. February 14 is

known for catapulting a relationship into orbit or knocking it clear on its

can. The couple makes it through this holiday feeling unstoppable.

 

March

has arrived and it shows. Spring is nearing, which means that Summer is right

around the corner. Candace dreams of Memorial Day weekend in South Beach and

how she can’t wait to show off her body. Until she opens her eyes to the fact

that she’s gained 15+ pounds over the past few months. All this time she

was running around with a man that, in her right mind, she never would had given the

time of day. In the process, she lost track of her eating regimen with less than 90 days to get

herself right again.

 

A

week before St. Patrick’s Day, Candace is back in the gym with her personal

trainer. She’s eating better foods and getting back around a few of her friends

that she lost track of, due to her relationship. The days peel off the

calendar, as does the holiday glaze that once had Candace singing the tunes of

Darnell.

 

St.

Patrick Day arrives; a day of togetherness for the Irish. Neither Candace nor

Darnell has Irish roots. However, when Darnell stops by to visit Candace, drunk

as a skunk, Darnell reaches his rude awakening. Candace rips into Darnell for

the first and last time. Game Over…

 

You

hear about it all the time. Men that only want to have someone in their lives

during the winter season for the soul purpose of keeping warm; maybe a good

meal here or a good thrill there. The thicker females can attest to this one.

They’ll tell you that their man prefers a little extra body heat over spending

money on a quilt. Otherwise, you’ll find that single men prefer playing the

field between Election Day and St. Patrick’s Day to save a few bucks on

presents and chocolates.

 

Your

secret is out…

 

Seasonal

relationships don’t end in this fashion on a regular basis, but it does have

its consequences. Holiday passion has resulted in babies being born at the end

of the Summer that follows. Yes, those August, September and October babies can

be linked back to a romp in the snow.

 

I

just celebrated my 30th birthday earlier this month. I’d be the

first to tell you that I am a product of the prom. How do I know? Do the math. Most

proms land at the end of May, early June. Just tack nine months on the end of

that, and wham, March. Now that I think of it, if you’re celebrating Memorial

Day at a popular location this year, think protection.

March babies are the product of that weekend, especially.

 

When

a season changes, so does our outlook. Candace, for example, links the summer

with being extremely fit, as most of us would agree. A relationship could come

to an end for the simple fact that you are in the gym on a daily, and your

significant other is cuddled up in front of the television eating bon-bons and

drinking heavily sugared Kool-aid out of a pitcher.

 

A

relationship can end because school is back in session and your time is

limited. A relationship can end because you or the person that you’re with is

suddenly out of style. These are all seasonal reasons for break-ups.

 

What

can you do to combat it?

 

Tips from the

Socialite

 

Understand the

Circumstances.

You should look at major holidays as seasonal checkpoints. Memorial Day Weekend

is the perfect example. People are converging on one place for one reason; to

have an extraordinary time while not being their usual selves.

 

Wild

piercings, tattoo’s and sex with complete strangers are concrete staples of the

festivities. Any relationship birthed under these circumstances doesn’t stand a

chance of becoming a functional connection.

 

Just say NO to

holiday outings.

Let’s bring some tradition back to meeting the parents. Screen your choices

before taking them to family events. This will save you from having a parent

that still talks to your weekend fling a year after you broke it off. Meeting

the parents is something that should be earned through stability and

consistency with your significant other.

 

Also,

holidays are a time of togetherness; a time that a family can feel whole again.

There is magic in the air, even if all hell is breaking loose. People are

easily attachable during this time. So keep your flavor of the month at home.

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