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I apologize to all real hip-hop fans and fans of real hip-hop for my waiting so long to skewer MTV’s “Brain Trust” – the assembly of new age sharecroppers who host the network’s hip-hop ranking specials.

My response time to cultural negligence of this magnitude is generally much faster, so my only real excuse is that I didn’t take installments such as “The Greatest Hip-Hop Albums of All-Time” seriously enough to flip on instinct. I should have reacted when they named L.L. Cool J one of the “Greatest MCs of All-Time,” or when they put UGK and Salt ‘N Pepa on the “Greatest Groups of All-Time” list over The Roots and The Beastie Boys, but I didn’t, and for that I’m truly sorry. 

According to the notoriously mannequin-like MTV News correspondent Sway Calloway, who himself is a member of the so-called “Brain Trust,” the group is comprised of the “smartest, most knowledgeable hip-hop minds at MTV News.”  I know – that’s on some smartest retard/coolest nerd shit to begin with – but it gets worse. 

These are the puppets who smile as Wayne and T-Pain monopolize airwaves, and who benefit when record labels fill MTV coffers with payola. They’re the swine who push deplorable materialistic tomfoolery on near-captive audiences and then claim that they’re quelling popular demand; not since that painting of dogs playing poker have so many bitches gathered around one table.

I hate to dig too vehemently into the individual “Brain Trustees”; as a whole, they’re a team of shills who shamelessly perpetuate ignorant trends, but as fans, I believe that most of them, at least at one point in their lives, valued rap music over hip-hop hype and image.

MTVNews.com Senior Producer Rahman Dukes proved his knowledge by nominating Public Enemy, Wu-Tang, Black Moon, Mobb Deep, De La Soul and Brand Nubian on the “Greatest Groups of All-Time” episode (only Wu-Tang made the final list); as did MTV Radio Network writer Bridget Bland, who outsmarted her peers by being the only one to advocate Chuck D for “Greatest MC of All-Time.”  Gentlemanliness aside, though, these are some serious sellouts.  

The sin that broke my back fell in the first few minutes of the recently aired “Hottest MCs in the Game 2008,” during which the “Brain Trust” apologized for Flo Rida and Plies not making the list.  One robot even went so far as to defend Plies for his originality (I suppose he does call himself “The One” Plies rather than “Your Boy” Plies). 

From there, the group actually proceeded to negotiate whether or not Soulja Boy should qualify. I changed channels, but, according to MTV.com, Kanye West, Jay-Z and Lil Wayne emerged on top.  Shocking.   

I understand that the discussion regarded the current “Hottest MCs in the Game;” I’m not here to suggest that Immortal Technique, Sean Price, Slug, Qwel and Cormega should have trumped creative inferiors such as Young Jeezy, Rick Ross and T.I. After all, it is a popularity contest – not a talent competition. 

What I will say, however, is that it’s incredibly sad that these clowns are positioned in such ways that they consider those latter artists the “Hottest MCs” in the first place; on their own time do they tap into the underground, or, God forsake, the international rap scene at all?  Or do they genuinely believe that their narrow tastes better represent hip-hop than do the millions of young people who reject MTV and embrace originality. 

It’s like presidential politics; in the end, it seems that all the worthwhile candidates are condemned to regional destinies while the phoniest machine-generated frauds enjoy national spotlights. 

It’s no secret that the “Brain Trust” thrives off the controversy that its ignorance stirs; the web explodes with a rash of traditionalist backlashes (like this) every time they dumb out.  My only problem is the nature of that controversy; it’s the kind that one would instigate by claiming that a dog is actually a cat; not the type that one would spark by claiming that a dog is a better or worse house pet than a cat. It’s unconscionable enough that MTV spawns unenlightened megalomaniacs like 50 Cent; now they’re building pedestals to place them on. 

I know exactly how every major label pawn and “Brain Trust” whore will respond to this; I have friends in comparable positions on commercial radio stations and big imprint promotion teams who constantly pull defense mechanisms against my vitriol. They’ll say I don’t understand the music business; that I’m a rap snob; and maybe, just maybe, they’ll accuse me of being unqualified to evaluate what the streets want.  (You know, since the rap videos they play on MTV (when they actually get around to playing videos) truly reflect street life). But I’m sure they’ll miss my point. 

As a dedicated hip-hop fan and reporter, I consider myself responsible for discovering and propping new artists who took lessons from KRS-One, Rakim and Nas and extrapolated on them; not MCs who disgrace the gods by reducing rap music to ringtones and club anthems. 

It took me some time to backslap the “Brain Trust” because in discussing the best rappers, groups and albums in their first episodes, they performed an honorable service to viewers who needed basic boom bap history lessons. But while I commended that, I believe the “Brain Trust’s” collective suggestion that their “Hottest MCs in the Game” are the artists who carried forth Old School and Golden Age traditions is an irresponsibility of unforgivable proportions.  Kill your television.