Beats, Baby Mommas, & Life: What Happened To The Battle?

I don’t know about yall, but I’m finding this little issue that has emerged between Rick Ross and 50 Cent really amusing.  First of all, it seems to be set at hyper-speed.  It’s like 6 months of back and fourth in 4 hours.  Folks are setting beef deadlines; finding themselves in the document catacombs pulling out 2nd grade report cards.  I mean, seriously.  How far is this going to go?  At the rate it’s moving, we should know in about 12 hours.

Also, I can’t recall Ross having any real issues with other emcees until Jake-Gate.  Well,

except with Cuban Link but we all know CL was just mad because Ross and

Fat Joe were down in Miami playing the Weather Boys as his beef with

Don Cartagena, his only claim to fame, got stale. Oh, and that thing

with T.I., but I guess the huge differences in physical proportions

just weren’t good for rap beef.  So The Boss is definitely jumping into

the deep end of the pool.

And then it’s just strange.  We know what to expect from 50, but Rick Ross I don’t pay attention to all that often.  I have Port of Miami, but I have never really listened to that album.  I heard his voice, but damn if I can repeat any of the lyrics.  So if his writing has always been a bit odd, forgive me for not knowing until now.

So Mafia Music is a diss record right?  I couldn’t really tell at first.  Suggesting

that you would totally trick off with someone’s baby momma doesn’t seem

all that harsh to me; especially when the person you are targeting

doesn’t even like their baby momma and is responsible for her finances.  50 was probably planning on penning a thank you note until someone explained that Ross was trying to call him out.  Then there was the obligatory Hammer quote?  He’s too legit to quit?  I’m still tickled.  I can’t imagine Ross with one of those permed-out Gumby’s, but you never know.

You

know, all of this reminds me of that dude interviewing Ross for True

Magazine almost a year ago when he was promoting Trilla.  I don’t think most of us saw the video until late last year, but he did ask Ross about a beef with 50.  The

question angered Ross into a conniption as he attempted to give the

interviewer some remedial journalism tips, but now it looks like he

wasn’t shocked that Mr. Tate asked a frivolous question. It looks like

maybe the reporter everyone bashed got his hands on a memo he shouldn’t

have seen. Or he was psychic.

Then there is that horrifying response from 50.  Not

the song really because the way he has taken to drawing out his words

makes his average lyric incomprehensible to me. The whole song normally

comes out sounding like one long word, kinda like those dudes who talk

with their mouths closed with wooden dummies on their laps.  (I know there is a Yayo joke in there somewhere, but I’m going to let it go.)  I

did get the shout to Lil Wayne though, but we know he’s not going to

answer that because gangstas don’t answer questions. Or was that ask

questions?  Either way, those couple of seconds on Katie Couric’s couch could be another post all in itself. But I digress.

Seriously though, he’s going to fluck Ross’ life up for fun.  For fun?  And

he won’t stop? I know everyone is thinking this is just some pre-album

release banter; a little verbal sparring to up the ante on some first

quarter cash, but I do remember Ja Rule.  I’m just saying.  Mr. Ross might want to watch his back before he’s cast into that Hip Hop netherworld that 50 sends his conquests to.  And Ross, when you and Khaled get there tell Ja and Buck and ‘nem I said what’s up.

So is this going to come to some kind of boil anytime soon?  Yes,

probably around the same time whoever gets to i-tunes first sells their

maiden album. Until then, I’m going to sit back and enjoy this show.  It’s definitely better than watching some scraggly wannabes duke it out via youtube and 3rd rate photo-shops.  I mean we have the Mayor of G-Unitville against Noriega’s spades partner.  Yup, that’s deeper than rap.

Related Stories