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The R Kelly Trial: A Play by Play

The views expressed in this Trial update are not the views expressed by AllHipHop.comToday marked the second day of the oft-delayed R. Kelly trial. After the dismissal of a juror yesterday, the drama just keeps on coming! Remember that I, Kiko Michaels, told you that this trial was going to be a straight up clown show! Well it was only day two, and they are already showing porn in the courtroom. (Hey instead of “love in the club,” how about “porn in the courtroom”) Oh what I would have given to be a fly on that wall! Today they screened the infamous R. Kelly “I want to piss on you” video. That must have been so interesting! Can you picture the jury just sitting there, then all of a sudden the lights dim and Bam! The Pied Piper of R&B is pissing on a toddler. Oh sorry, “allegedly”… Wouldn’t it have been cool if they scored the background and during the infamous pissing scene they played “It’s raining Men”? Also did they hand out popcorn before they showed the video? I always like to eat when I’m watching porn.Ok…so after they finished watching the tape, the prosecution gave this whole speech about how R. Kelly took advantage of the trust children have in adults, and he commanded the young girl to perform disgusting sex acts blah blah blah. For those of you who need a translation, basically he said R is a perv.  Then the defense made their own remarks, and that’s when the real f**kery began. First, they said that the girl in the video was not the now 23-year old who was identified as the pissee. That’s confusing because if you were identified as being in the video, how can you then come back and say it wasn’t you? I’m sure Kelly Rowland would like to forget she was in Freddy vs. Jason, but that’s not how it works! Then the defense went on to say that the girl in the video was a professional prostitute (as opposed to only moonlighting as a prostitute I guess). That is ridiculous! The girl in the video is obviously a young teenager! While I agree you can be a young teenager and be a prostitute, calling her a professional is insulting to actual professionals! You need years in the game to get that title! Years that a 14-year old would not have had yet unless she started tricking at four years old! Lastly, the defense said that the guy in the video could not be R because he does not have a mole that R has had since birth. Hey R, just because you go over your herpes sores with a black marker does not make them moles!Here are some bright spots: The girl in the video got paid because money seems to change hands at the beginning of the video. Perhaps she put it towards her college fund? And lastly I have read several reports that say that she urinated in the video too. That’s our R, he sure loves his piss. Oh I’m sorry, I mean “allegedly.”Share your thoughts on the trial!

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