Stitches Got Stitches: White Rapper Fail

As a proud 305 representer—a Miami native, I pride myself on being from the same hood/school/city as Rick Ross, Gunplay, Trick Daddy, Trina and Flo Rida! (If I would’ve grown up in their era I would probably be a rapper, but being a blogger is what I do!) All’s been well with Miami hip-hop until recently.

Enter white gangsta rapper Phillip Katsabanis aka “Lil Phil” aka (his most recent metamorphosis) “Stitches.” (His last name has me in stitches! No gangsta rapper’s gov’ment name should Katsabanis! [Ain’t dat Greek?] That’s about as lame as Vanilla Ice’s real last name—Van Winkle—and he too claimed Miami with his fraudulent ass!)

The more I’m finding out about this white rapper “Stitches,” the more I’m starting to like Slim Jesus! F**k! What’s really good with some of these white rappers getting airtime today? Off the rip—I ain’t with no white rapper using the “N-WORD” and Stitches says “ni**a” better than most ni**as! He’s from a part of Miami called Kendall. Black folk from there, but it ain’t the hardest part of Miami by far. (Visit Overtown, Liberty City, Brownsville, Opa Locka and even my hood, Carol City) Stitches wants us to believe that he’s the realest, hardest and truest Miami representer, but I see through the make-up. Tatting one’s face with grotesqueness is just an attempt at being feared. Your face might be scary, but you ain’t scary! You might think you’re a ni**a, but you ain’t no ni**a! His video, “I Love My Ni**as.” Really, hip-hop? Have we accepted this shit? (Might be time foe me to check out of hip-hop…)

And don’t be acksin’ why blacks can say n***a and whites can’t! We can be hypocritical if we want! Much blood has been shed before we manipulated the word into a “term of endearment.”

Who told Stitches he could appropriate the word n***a into his vernacular? Tain’t no way I’m gonna believe that real Miami n***as think this is cool. He must be rolling with some Kendall wiggas or some of those fake-ass South Beach brothas. Real Miami N-Words don’t respect it and I don’t respect it!

Stitches don’ took on the “n***a persona” and fooled himself into thinking he can step to a real certified gangsta rapper like The Game. Oh, but straightway Stitches found out that he was barking up the wrong tree! One of Game’s people (Shout-out to Wack 100! You took that Taser like a G! I see you and I hope 40 Glocc seen’t that Pacoima Haymaker!) put that fool to sleep with a one-hitter-quitter—waylaid his ass into a South Beach R.E.M. sleep stage! After his nap (and on his way to jail) all he could say was he was “sucker punched.” How were you “sucker punched” when it was Stitches who was on some groupie/stalker ish for a reportedly two-hours, while The Game sipped Ciroc and goosed chicks in Liv’s V.I.P. section. You had two-hours to formulate your war strategy and still got caught slippin’? LOL. Nah white boy! I seen’t the video! You threw your dukes up first and walked up to The Game’s entourage. Did you really think you were just gonna walk by his first line of defense and touch him? Proof that you’re not a real gangster; a fade coming from any angle! Stitches was in his Porsche (rollin’ six deep) and the naggers he was with did nothing! On his Instagram Stitches said this of the goons riding with him, “And the n***a I was with didn’t do shit. They fired.” LOL. Yes! Stitches received some stitches that night—in his own city and summarily got the “Donkey of the Day” from Charlamange Tha God and a quick dissin’ from me.

Stitches is the quintessential “culture vulture” who glorifies everything that’s wrong with hip-hop aesthetics. He may talk like a n***a, but he ain’t no n***a and The Game pulled up his skirt and exposed his tiny phallus with one punch. Now go on away Lil Phil and leave my city ASAP! PS. Did I mention that your music sucks?

Khalil Amani, a Native of Miami Carol City is gay hip-hop’s “Straight Advocate.” He writes for Allhiphop.com, DJ Kay Slay’s Originators & Straight Stuntin Magazines. He’s been featured in L.A. Times, Spin Magazine, DaveyD.com, The Biography Channel. Author of six books, including the groundbreaking “Hip-Hop Homophobes…” (iuniverse.com ’07). Follow on IG @khalil_amani, Facebook, Twitter @khalilamani.

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