Signs The World Is Coming To End: Man Chokes Girlfriend With His Dreds!

This goes in the “I can’t files.” Really, Shyne beefing with Meek Mill really was stressing me over the prospect that I would have to write about it. (Click here to read about that Shyne/Meek mess) But I got out of it – WHEW! Instead, I get to write about this piece of f**kery. A man was arrested for assaulting his girlfriend with his dreadlocks! They are even calling it the “dreadlocks girlfriend assault.” Earlier today, the man was arrested for a variety of charges including assault. Here is the report, “According to Portland police, officers responded to a domestic violence report at a residence in the 3200 block of Southeast 22nd Avenue at about 2:30 a.m. A woman told officers that her boyfriend, Caleb Grotberg, had assaulted her, and then choked her with his dreadlocks. Officers searched the neighborhood and located Grotberg, taking him into custody.” Luckily the man didn’t actually murder his girlfriend with his locks. That’s what’s up. The report, which originated in Portland, OR, explains to users what a dreadlock is – “a matted piece of hair that resembles a rope.” If dude has a caesar, he wouldn’t be in the bing right now facing second-degree kidnapping, second-degree attempted assault, fourth-degree assault, menacing, and domestic violence. ALL FEL-O-NIES!