French Montana & Dubai Princess: Is Bag Secured?

French Montana and royalty? That’s the headline we didn’t know we needed this summer. The Bronx-raised, battle-DVD-tested, Morocco-born rapper has apparently locked in with an actual princess from Dubai. A real princess, ya’all. This sounds like a movie.

Let me back up. I know how this sounds, but I’m going to give myself some space to act out. Don’t judge me. Don’t @ me. Let’s just walk through this.

For those of us who go back with French, we remember when he was the DVD kingpin….all Coke Boys, all street raps, all hoodie days. The dude was documenting—literally interviewing—the New York underworld. So to see this guy holding hands with someone who probably has more money than Trump is crazy work.

The internet got a taste of their love and went crazy. It was giving us Jay Electronica and Kate Emma Rothschild vibes. French looked like he just got baptized. The princess was flawless. No cap. You know we all said, “He secured the bag!”

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But I’m thinking this is love. Word on the street is that the princess’s father—ahem, The King—fully approves of the relationship.

On the low, people are also happy French Montana avoided that Diddy crap. French has kept his name squeaky clean. That’s not luck. “He’s out of here” is the message I’m receiving.

French Montana’s life as a rapper hasn’t exactly been poppin’ as of late. But that doesn’t mean he fell off. That just means the landscape shifted. Some of us are sitting in our “Ted Bundy chairs,” as he takes the throne. We once played Coke Wave mixtapes and now play podcasts on 2x-speed. It is what it is.

But you know what? French Montana looks happy and healthy. Flex, brother, flex! Now, I’m about to go play some Montana music and find my princess. Let the Googling of flights to Dubai begin.