Remy Ma checks in with AllHipHop.com to answer
some advice questions. From the absurd to the serious, Remy Ma may just know
the answers to the universe!
Dear Remy,
Me and my girl have the worst fights…she
likes to make it physical by hitting me…. Sometimes, I get the urge to knock
her a** out, but I don’t… What’s the best way to remedy this with the girl
I happen to like (maybe love)… Hit me back, Remy.
-Sgt.Mashout! From Brooklyn
Remy:
What’s Poppin, Sgt. Mashout from BK. First
off, I love your name, hope you stand up to it. Now as far as this girl you
“like (maybe love)” goes, I think all she really needs is a taste
of her own medicine. I’m not saying “knock her ass out” the next time
she gets physical with you because nine times out of ten a chick that’s quick
to hit you is even quicker to pick up the phone, call police, and get your ass
locked up. And domestic violence is such a lame charge. However, getting your
sister, cousin, or a hoodrat from your block to put her under pressure is not
a crime. But don’t let it seem like you set it up, she won’t like the fact that
her man got her smacked. And if that doesn’t work, leave her alone for awhile.
She will miss you, hopefully, and start acting right when you take her back.
That don’t work then f*ck that b*tch!
Dear Remy,
A-yo, Doggette, should I stay in school?
-Pink Panther
Remy:
Uhhmm, yeah stupid! (I don’t believe you had
to ask that you definitely should focus on staying in school!)
Matterfact, drop out. Be nothing. Stay broke. Become a homeless bum, that’s
what’s up.
Remy,
I’m trying to get my career in pornography
going…any advice? Also, I saw where you and your girls break a n*gga off and
leave him – basically you do him like dudes do women…I was thinkin’ I could
be that dude that y’all sexually abuse sometime?
-Daredevil, Wilmington, Delaware
Remy:
Hey Daredevil of Delaware. It’s so nice to
know you would voluntarily be me and my friends sex slave. Seriously, I’m flattered
to know you would allow us to try and/or practice sexual activities on you,
stick foreign objects into your body crevices and openings, and when we’re done
act like we don’t know or ever even met you. However, it’s no fun when the guy
is willing to do anything and enjoying it. Sorry, you don’t qualify. But as
far as your “career in pornography”, thanks to the internet, it could
be right around the corner. First, find a s### bag w#### or two that’s trying
to start her p#### career. That shouldn’t be hard (no PUN intended). Next, make
a few home videos, then get a website. Good Luck
Dear Remy,
I neeeeeed some great Moral + Investment advice,
being close ta broke again, I kinda want some money. Should I sell my dead grandpa’s
stock in the Corn Industry??? He told me not to, but then again I’m broke. Should
I, & What’s the best predicted date & time ta sell the dead muthaf*ckkas
sh*t?
Thanks Remy,
Caveman, Berkley, California
Remy:
Caveman, Caveman, Caveman sorry to tell you
but, “being close to broke” is the same thing as being broke. I don’t
know about the Corn Industry stock but I know stocks period are good investments.
That’s long term money. Selling it would get you some paper for now but once
that’s gone, then what? I mean if you’re about to get evicted or something serious
and can’t get no money from anywhere else, I guess you have no choice. Otherwise,
stop being lazy. Get a job, hit the block, go find some b*tch to support you,
do something besides sitting around “wanting money.” That’s not cute.
P.S. R.I.P. Grandpa
Dear Remy,
This Is a true question, Me and my girl get
into it from time to time but overall we are happy in the relationship. Now
Im a young 19 year old man and I hav the sex drive of one, But my girl is only
one year younger than me and she seems like she cant handle it. I mean half
the time the sex is good but the other half Im doin all the work. Before I got
wit her I had plenty broads that was given me plenty good p*ssy but I stopped
that for my girl. Now I kinda been thinkin about creepin a lil bit because those
same broads still keep in touch. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
From, NEBROKSICU in Southside Chicago
Remy:
What’s really good with you Nebroksicu?!
You’re 19, your girl is 18.
You want pipe, she don’t.
And when she do, she’s roadkill.
You call this “a happy relationship?!”
You can’t be serious. Instead of thinking about creeping, you should be thinking
about leaving. Then you can do whatever, or should I say whoever, you want.
If you need help with that I got plenty of friends that love little 19 year
olds with a little 19 year old’s sex drive. However, if you want to stay with
her for whatever reasons, do like almost every other n*gga does, play like Lil’
Jon and get low with the next chick behind her back.
Hey Remy,
I have a rare virus called A.D.E.R and the
only way I can cure it is if u e-mail me nude photos so could you help a sick
guy out?
Concepts25 from Los Angeles
Remy:
Let me get this straight, you have a rare
virus, that I never heard of by the way, called A.D.E.R. (Whatever that stands
for) and you want me to cure you by e-mailing you naked flicks of me. Yeah,
you’re sick alright. And that sh*t might be contagious. And I don’t want it.
Sorry!