Nick Cannon Boasts “Most Valuable Balls” After Taking Out $10M Policy On Family Jewels

Nick Cannon—the king of procreation—has  taken out a $10 million insurance policy on his family jewels. Cannon, who has 12 children with six different women, used Dr. Squatch’s Ball Valuation Tool, which evaluated size, favorite features and bedroom maneuvers, among other factors. He now holds the title of “Most Valuable Balls.”

Dr. Squatch, a natural men’s soap and personal care company, took out an official policy via MMA/Momentous. Cannon said in a statement, “Haters say it’s time for me to stop having kids and put this super sperm to rest, but I’m doubling down on these valuable balls and my future kids. Shoutout to Dr. Squatch for giving my balls the credit they deserve and hooking me up with the protection I need to keep this family tree rolling.”

Cannon shares twins Moroccan and Monroe with ex-wife Mariah Carey. He also has sons Golden and Rise and daughter Powerful with Brittany Bell; twins Zion and Zillion and daughter Beautiful with Abby De La Rosa; son Legendary with Bre Tiesi; and daughter Onyx with LaNisha Cole. Cannon also shares two children with Alyssa Scott: son Zen, who died at 5 months old in December 2021 after being diagnosed with brain cancer, and daughter Halo Marie Cannon, who was born in December 2022.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dr. Squatch (@drsquatch)

Cannon flirted with the idea of having a vasectomy  in 2022. As he told E! News “Daily Pop” show at the time. “I already went and got my vasectomy consultation. I ain’t looking to populate the Earth completely, but I’m definitely looking forward to taking care and loving all the children that I currently have.”

But by the following year, he’d already changed his mind. He told Howard Stern he only considered the vasectomy due to societal pressures.

“It’s a scary thing,” Cannon said when asked about the consultation. “I felt pressured. I felt the world was trying to make me get a vasectomy. I don’t operate well under pressure. My body, my choice. You ever know what it’s like to be walking down the street and just a random stranger be like, ‘Man, you need to go get snipped?’ I’m like, ‘I don’t even know you.'”

Cannon even tried a bout with celibacy, but that didn’t last long.

“I got depressed with the loss of my son,” Cannon told the “Lip Service” podcast. “So in December, everybody saw I was so down. So everybody was like, ‘Let’s just give him a little v#####, and that’s gonna cure it all.’ I fell victim to it ’cause I was in a weak state. So December, especially right before Christmas, I started f###### like crazy.”