SZA wrestled with anxiety and self-doubt while preparing for her first stadium tour alongside Kendrick Lamar, revealing she feared being overshadowed and disconnected from massive crowds.
During a revealing exchange with singer Chappell Roan for Interview Magazine, SZA opened up about the emotional weight of stepping into stadiums for the first time as part of the Grand National Tour.
“I’ve never been on a f**king stadium tour before. There’s so much fear,” she said. “Am I going to feel the crowd so far away from me versus being in a smaller venue? There’s no top on the venue, so where’s the energy going to bounce off of? Am I going to be able to catch it and release it and flip it?”
The tour, which launched in the U.S. on April 19, pairs the “Kill Bill” singer with Kendrick Lamar, who’s fresh off the success of his viral track “Not Like Us.” While the pairing has thrilled audiences, SZA admitted she initially questioned her place on the bill.
“Everybody’s going to see Kendrick. I don’t even know if I have anything to show these people that’s exciting and new,” she confessed. “But I’m just like, ‘F**k it. I want to walk through the door. I want to see what happens in the uncertainty.’ That’s the true magic.”
SZA also reflected on how her mindset has evolved since the early stages of her career.
“I used to not show up to something because it was like, ‘I’m never going to win. No one cares that I’m here. Why would I go?'” she said. “But now it’s just like, ‘F**k it. I don’t have anything else to do, and I want to see where this door is going to lead.'”